Chris Bosio Learns That the Word “Monkey” Is Now Forbidden

If you want to keep your job in the era of zero tolerance liberalism, keep your Newspeak Dictionary up to date. The word “monkey” is now forbidden — as Detroit Tigers pitching coach Chris Bosio learned the hard way:

Bosio revealed to USA TODAY Sports that he was fired for using the word “monkey” in a conversation that was overheard by – but not involving – an African-American clubhouse attendant.

Bosio says he was referring to a white pitcher named Daniel Stumpf.

“Someone in our coaches’ room asked me (Monday afternoon) about Stumpf,’’ Bosio said. “And I said, “Oh, you mean, ‘Spider Monkey.’ That’s his nickname. He’s a skinny little white kid who makes all of these funny faces when he works out.”

But the attendant took offense, so Bosio is out of a job.

When it comes to thought crime, neither intent nor context matters. If a person of politically preferred pigmentation (PoPPP) decides to take offense for whatever reason, then you have transgressed and must be punished. In our culture, the alleged feelings of PoPPPs trump everything.

PoPPPs who enjoy wielding arbitrary power over others must love being “oppressed.”

As for the rest of us, we had better play it safe and regard the word “monkey” as forbidden in any context.

On a tip from Varla.

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