Progressives Go After Cows, Glitter, Balloons, and Cars

Leftists are nihilists, as you can ascertain within a minute by asking one about intelligent design. They believe in nothing so adamantly that suggesting there is more to reality than some some absurd random accident evokes artificially superior smirks if not bellows of rage. This provides a clue as to what progressives are ultimately progressing toward. Maybe they want to actualize the great nothing they worship by erasing everything in existence, one regulation at a time. Already they have moved beyond banning things that can actually cause harm to devote full-scale jihads to objects as innocuous as plastic bags and drinking straws. Brace yourself as enlightened liberals forbid cows, glitter, balloons, and automobiles.

Always eager to push the boundaries of kooky tyranny, California has it in for cows, on the insane grounds that they make it be too hot out:

California regulators are working to formulate a plan that would require dairy farmers to purchase and operate devices known as “methane digesters,” which convert the methane gas, produced from manure, into electricity.

California dairy farms will have to be retrofitted with these devices in order to be in compliance with SB 1383.

The devices cost millions and appear to be intended not so much to improve the weather as to drive dairy farmers out of business.

No farms, no farm animals. You don’t see many cows in the wild.

They should have checked first with sacred gays on this one; lefty totalitarians are going after glitter:

Most glitters are in essence teeny tiny bits of shiny plastic, called microplastics. They are a well-known environmental hazard for the world’s oceans, and they’re currently a hot topic in the United Kingdom. The UK next year will implement a ban on microbeads — a type of microplastic found in face washes, body scrubs and other products. (The US already has a partial ban on microbeads in place.)

Balloons are too festive; let’s ban them too:

The joyous celebration of releasing balloons into the air has long bothered environmentalists, who say the pieces that fall back to earth can be deadly to seabirds and turtles that eat them. So as companies vow to banish plastic straws, there are signs balloons will be among the products to get more scrutiny, even though they’re a very small part of environmental pollution.

A town in Rhode Island has already banned the sale of balloons. Other jurisdictions are sure to follow. Emma Tonge of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration says that marine animals can get tangled up in balloon strings.

Progressives hate guns and cars primarily for the same reason; both empower the individual. The same propaganda tactics can be used to target both. Someday soon, every pileup on the highway may set off the same media hype that ensues whenever a regrettably unincarcerated lunatic goes on a shooting spree. Islamomoonbat-ruled London leads the way.

Britain is also on the cutting edge when it comes to incrementally banning knives. The more advanced the moonbattery, the more aggressive the drive to ban everything conceivable.

On tips from Chronos Z. Wonderpig, Lyle, Dragon’s Lair, and Dan F.

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