MOTUS Returns To Her Roots (and Butts)

Honestly, I didn’t want to know anything more about Michelle and Barack’s personal life. Butt there it is anyway, because you don’t get a $65 million book deal without a lot of promotion. And I sure didn’t want to post yet another photoshop of the world’s most fashion forward former FLOTUS butt again, there it is:

So thanks to Becoming Michelle, Elle and Robin Roberts we see and hear it all: from lust at first sight to marriage counseling:

Commenting on what she learned during marriage counseling years ago she said “what I learned about myself was that my happiness was up to me.” 

Isn’t that always the way when you’re married to a narcissist?

I won’t speculate on whether learning that her happiness was up to herself had anything to do with what she tells us next:

So, as her “sweet, attentive husband” worked at the state legislature, she was left ‘largely on my own to manipulate my reproductive system into peak efficiency.’

OMG!

Michelle also revealed that she and former President Barack Obama ‘had to do IVF’ to conceive their daughters Sasha and Malia, now 17 and 20, explaining that, because of her age at the time, she was worried about being able to get pregnant naturally.

TMI!

I point out that her “age at the time” was 34, an age at which many modern women have just begun to think about starting a family and are not yet started worrying about getting pregnant naturally. Boy, “lust” sure isn’t what it used to be.

She also reveals how hurtful it was to her for people to portray her as an angry black woman during Barack’s presidential campaign over her comment –taken out of context of course – about being proud of her country for the first time in her adult life. And then she goes on to advise us that she gave Barack her blessing to run for president because she never thought he would win – she didn’t think the country was ready for a black president due to racism and bigotry. 

‘I think I did what a lot of black folks were doin’. We were afraid to hope because it’s hard to believe that the country that oppressed you could one day be led by you, you know?

First off, that sounds sort of angry to me. Secondly, the group that pedaled the “HOPE” banner to the rest of us was afraid to hope? At a minimum there’s something cynical about that.

Butt given that racist, bigoted America did elect a black man to be president – twice – are we good now?

And of course Michelle will never forgive Donald Trump for questioning Barack’s citizenship – and for beating Hillary:

‘I will always wonder about what led so many women, in particular, to reject an exceptionally qualified female candidate and instead choose a misogynist as their president.

I wonder if she has any proof to back that up…about PDJT being a misogynist? Or about Hillary Clinton being exceptionally qualified.

“Why aren’t I 50 points ahead!?!”

And she has a final thought about our new FLOTUS. When asked if she thought Melania Trump, was doing a good job she simply said the two of them approached the role differently.  As do presidents. Some lean towards socialism, others don’t.

“the children are our future”

Butt here’s what Michelle gracefully said about Melania:

“You know, one of the things you learn as a former, it’s, like, I don’t judge, what a current is doin’, you know?” 

Excellent advice, if not locution. Maybe she could pass that thought on to her husband and his friends.  

Feel free to consult the Daily Mail for even more nuggets of wisdom from our former FLOTUS. I’d advise against it however, life is fraught with enough hate.