All in all

Guest post by Suzann Darnall

All in all life is not so bad right now. Yes, my husband has cancer. Yes, there have been numerous visits and stays in the hospital over the past few month. Yes, he has gone through an extensive surgery, as well some minor procedures and surgeries. Yes, he is facing chemotherapy and radiation. Yes, he is still with me and the prognosis is more positive than negative. So, considering everything, all is not so bad.

Have you ever thought about the word “all”? It has multiple definitions. The ones that are most relevant to my thoughts this day are: 1) the whole amount, quantity, or extent of AND 2) every member or individual component of. In addition to the definitions of “all”, there are dozens of common phrases using the word “all” which are also defined in various places online.

I guess the word “all” is on my mind right now ‘cause it is kinda my be-all-end-all that is at risk at this time. My husband, Pete, is , in many ways, the most important person in my life. He is my greatest concern most of the time. I am always thinking about ways to make his life more comfortable. I want him to always be happy. And, at this time, that has become of paramount importance beyond anything I ever considered before.

I am trying very much to go all out in taking care of him. I am not succeeding 100%, but I think I am doing at least a bit above average. I have learned nursing procedures I never ever wanted to know and did them fairly well. I have figured out keeping records that have assisted the doctor in making decisions of continuing or ceasing treatments. I have organized medical supplies in a way that even impressed Pete’s temporary home visit nurse.

Important to all of this this is that I am not all alone in my endeavors. My family and friends are very much standing all together in helping me to care for Pete, home, and critters. At the very beginning of this journey, family was in and out of the hospital during a hospitalization Pete had in August. In November, my father came to stay with me during Pete’s surgery and long hospital stay. My mother’s support in this was to help Dad prepare for the trip and stay home to tend to things there, thus allowing my dad to assist me. My daughter, Amanda, fed critters each evening for weeks, which allowed me to visit with Pete longer during his hospital stay. My other daughter, Charly, sat at the hospital with me all day for his Whipple procedure, which was a 8+ hour surgery. She then returned at times to visit with us or bring me food.

Others have stepped up to the plate as well. Son-in-law, Casey, drove up from San Antonio to install a new lock when one of my door handles broke. Son-in-law, Ray, sat at home with Pete one afternoon so Amanda could help me get a supply of grain from the feed store. A dear friend, Jodi, comes by to water my plants. Others have brought us the sacrament, visited with us, come carolling, sent cards, and even brought gifts. Even my long distance friends and family are keeping in touch with texts, cards, and social media. And, let’s not even forget all the prayers and blessings. Then, there are all those medical people involved for months now with Pete’s care. So many of them have gone above and beyond in taking care of his needs. Thanks to each of these very special people we are pretty much doing all right.

While we may not exactly be one for all, all for one, I do feel that we are sorta doing that. I definitely feel I am being all for my one, who is also my all. And, I feel so much love, care, and concern from friends and family. They are concerned not just about Pete, but about me and my extended family. They even express concern about my animals. Plus, my dear sweet Pete, is very concerned about me and about all the others who are helping.

In our fight for against cancer, we are all in. We are also all in for our fight to be an eternal family. It is our supreme goal to make it to Heaven and be reunited with our many loved ones who have gone before, including a precious granddaughter, Vivian Reyna, and my grandparents. It is for this reason that I personally try to make it to church each Sunday and fulfill my calling as best I can, plus attempt to be the best me I can be. I want not just time, but I want forever. Only eternity will be enough time with my eternal sweetheart and all those I love.

Still and all, I am good with waiting a while for eternity to begin. I have family and friends here. I want to experience all that I can on this side of the veil first. I want to grow old with my Pete. Perhaps even see our great-grandchildren and I am not adverse to being a living fifth generation if the Lord so allows!

As I said at the beginning, all in all, life is not so bad. A little rough. But, I think we are ready. More ready than I ever thought I would be for something like this. When all is said and done, I am more blessed than stressed. Life might not always be easy, but despite the trials, I am all for it. I want to experience the joy and the sorrow, so I might expand my knowledge. Ecclesiastes 3:4 says, “A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance” Occasionally those times go side by side and you experience them all at once.

I am definitely all in. I want my precious times with Pete and my family. It is not always easy right now, but we are making special efforts to be with our children and our grandchildren as best we can. Heavenly Father’s plan really and truly is all about family. Should our lives not reflect that same rank of importance for those we love when when we prioritize?