True Tales From the Annals of Crazistan (Part 2)

The bizarre views expressed by former Jordanian MP Muhammad Al-Qudah, in which he claimed there was a conspiracy to lure Muslim males out of their countries – especially countries neighboring on Israel — in order that they marry American women so as to obtain green cards, were made on January 2. In a second appearance a week later, Al-Qudah made claims that were even more bizarre, and that deserve our attention.

The number of homosexuals in America has reached 50 million. One sixth of Americans are homosexuals, and they are ruling the world.

The total LGBT population in the U.S., of male homosexuals, lesbians, and bisexual people, is less than 4.5%. Assuming the numbers of male and female homosexuals and of bisexuals to be relatively equal, that would mean that 1.5% of the American population, not one-sixth (16%), is homosexual. Al-Qudah makes up his crazy figures (“one-sixth of the population,” “50 million homosexuals”), never citing a source, and runs with them.

That’s the tragedy. Fifty million and morality depraved people are ruling the world. One sixth of the American people are morally depraved homosexuals, and they are the ones who rule the East and the West.

Leaving aside whether homosexuals are “morally depraved” – a statement which Al-Qudah casually makes as if no one could possibly disagree – how did he arrive at the conclusion that that the homosexual “one-sixth” of the American population “are ruling the world”? We have already discussed his claim that one-sixth of the American population are homosexual, when the actual figure is 4.5% for homosexuals, lesbians, and bisexuals, and 1.5% for male homosexuals alone. But what about this claim about American homosexuals “ruling the world”? What are the outward and visible signs of their ruling the world? If they are indeed “ruling the world,” why don’t they do away with Muslim males altogether, rather than have them go through the whole rigmarole of marrying American women to obtain green cards? And if those homosexual Americans rule the world, why have they been unable to prevent certain Muslim countries – Iran, Saudi Arabia — from punishing homosexuals with death?

150 of President Obama’s employees in the White House are homosexuals. They form the President’s closest circle, and this is why Obama is encouraging homosexuality, and legislating laws to protect them. Obama supports same-sex marriage, and his government is seeking to legalize it in America.

Al-Qudah may not have noticed, but Barack Obama is no longer president; the use of the present tense for President Obama and his employees – “are homosexuals,” “this is why Obama is encouraging…” – is bizarre. It is equally bizarre to describe “150 employees” as Obama’s “closest circle.” 15 maybe, but not 150, would form anyone’s “closest circle.” Obama’s government is not still “seeking to legalize [same sex marriage]  in America” – it has been legal since 2015, though Muhammad Al-Qudah apparently has not realized that. Nor does he understand it was the Supreme Court, not Barack Obama, that made same-sex marriage legal in America.

Ninety two percent of homosexuals in America commit suicide, because they are detached from religion. Ninety two percent of them commit suicide, and we pray to Allah that more of them [kill themselves]. Ninety seven percent of homosexuals in America visit psychiatrists. Imagine, if there are 50 million of them, how many visit psychiatrists? Due to the many mental illnesses in America, they had to build a new psychiatric clinic between every two existing clinics. The clinics they already had could not keep up. The hospitals that treat mental illnesses… The smallest hospital they have like the Medical City Center we have in Jordan. All these clinics for these 97% of homosexuals who suffer from mental illness. A quarter of American soldiers do not know who their father is.

Fewer than 5% of homosexuals in the U.S. attempt suicide. There is one suicide for every 25 attempts, which means that the suicide rate for homosexuals is not 92%, as Al-Qudah claims, but 0.20%. With the same airy indifference to facts, Al-Qudah says that 97% of homosexuals visit psychiatrists. This figure, too, is plucked from the air, which is so much more fun for Muhammad Al-Qudah than actually studying the data.

 “May Allah overturn the earth beneath them [homosexuals] and turn them and turn them into apes and pigs.” Their minds are like those of apes and pigs.

Of course. underneath or behind it all, there are always the Jews. For it was Allah who turned the Jews into “apes and pigs.” The minds of homosexuals are just like “those of apes and pigs” – that is, just like the minds of Jews. Could it be that all Jews are homosexuals? Or that all homosexuals are Jews? Do you doubt that in the vivid oriental imagination of this demented man living in his own jerrybuilt crazistan, so consumed with hatred for both groups,  those facts will be revealed in a future installment of the world according to Muhammad Al-Tudah? He is not treated as demented in Jordan. He is not a lone loon, but has plenty of company. He is a respected former Member of Parliament. And that’s Islamic crazistan. Its citizens are all those who, like Muhammad Al-Tudah, reveal a miscomprehension of the world so nutty that one hardly knows how to begin to refute it; they’re to be found everywhere in the Muslim world. Without the invaluable coverage by Memri.org, which has for 20 years been monitoring, and translating, enormous amounts of material from the Arab and Muslim media (press, television, radio, online blogs, academic lectures) and making it all available to the world, we would have no idea of just how much of what is believed in the Arab and Muslim is the sheerest nuttiness. For the month of February 2020, exhibit number 1 is MP Muhammad Tu’mah Al-Qudah, and those fifty million American homosexuals who, he knows, and wants you to know too, rule the world.