Fousesquawk's Royal Scandal: Lord Shot on Orders of the Queen!!!!!!!!

For all you royal watchers out there, as well as those of you sick about hearing how America is falling apart, there is a huge story breaking out of the UK today. Yes, believe it or not, a “drugs lord” has been shot on orders from an “underworld crime queen”. 

The Times has the shocking story.

“A drugs lord was injured in a shooting on his doorstep over debts to an underworld crime queen called the Banker after police seized cocaine worth £20 million on the M6.”

 https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/brothers-jailed-after-20m-of-cocaine-found-in-van-on-m6-fv2jf82hs

No word as yet if a royal funeral is planned if the Lord of Drugs dies, or whether the Queen of Crime will attend.

A nation mourns

In addition, my sources tell me that police are searching for the Princess of Prostitution and the Earl of Ecstasy as “persons of interest.” Speaking of persons of interest, has anybody seen Prince Andrew lately?

“I don’t think that’s funny, Fousesquawk.”