For Just $83,140, Princeton Will Train Your Son to Be a Drag Queen

It costs a staggering $83,140 to send a student to Princeton University, and that’s just for one year. Four years of this august Ivy League school will set you back a cool $332,560, and just think: for that kind of money, you could have bought a brand-new Corvette convertible every year and had some spare change left over.

But Princeton has its benefits: you may not be able to tool around in the glorious sunshine with the wind blowing your hair back, but for all that dough, Princeton will take your thoughtful, intelligent son and turn him into a prancing, preening, children’s-innocence-stealing drag queen. And they will do that in just one year, in case you can’t afford all four. Hey, it’s worth $83,140 to get in step with the times, isn’t it?

The College Fix reported Thursday that Princeton has launched a “new ‘Drag University’ program” that purports to “train students in the ‘artform.’” Do parents send their children to Princeton for this? If there are any parents out there (and I’m sure there are, complete with peeling Bernie stickers on their Volvos) who would be pleased and proud, nay, thrilled, if their sons became drag queens), there are cheaper ways to accomplish this than plunking down $83,140 to get him or her or xer or whatever a degree from Princeton.

The Princeton drag queen training program is “open to all undergraduate and graduate students interested in the world of drag,” so students need not be concerned that they might be too young for it. And there are no prerequisites or preliminary courses that enrollees have to take; they can go from zero to drag queen with just one course. No wonder Princeton charges so much.

The course goes for the entire “academic” year and covers a sweeping array of pressing issues that every young man who will be graduating from college and facing the future in the next few years needs to know, and know thoroughly. These include “the history of drag, ‘Sewing 101,’ choreography, face painting, photoshoots, and other topics,” as if all that wasn’t quite enough, thank you very much.

On the cutting edge as always, Princeton was actually offering scholarships for this course. An Instagram post stated: “Drag University is a new program housed under the mentorship pillar of the Gender + Sexuality Resource Center,” as anyone would expect. The Gender + Sexuality Resource Center describes itself as fostering “a supportive and inclusive campus community for women, femme, trans and queer Princetonians.”

In line with that mission, Princeton’s Drag University is a full-year program that will “teach about the history of drag, as well as the art form of drag. Sessions will be taught by local drag performers, on-campus partners who know their way around machines, and other students. This program is open to undergraduate and graduate students. The first 8 applicants who commit to the entire curriculum and attend orientation will get a scholarship to cover costs of supplies.”

Generous. This course, however, is so very much in line with the spirit of the age that all the scholarships were snapped up in the twinkling of an eye. The College Fix noted that “the form was updated this week to note: ‘At this time we have reached our capacity for our scholarships, but you are more than welcome to attend our workshops.’” That kind invitation appears to be extended only to Princeton students, so you’re still in for the $83,140.

Considering that “pride” is the emblematic slogan and second-favorite deadly sin of the entire LGBTQETC movement, it would have been only natural for Princeton to be effusive and enthusiastic about its new Drag University and happy to respond to inquiries. However, when The College Fix reached out to university administrators, Princeton’s media affairs division, and the Gender + Sexuality Resource Center seeking information about “the number of students enrolled and what pool of money is being used to fund the scholarships,” all of them ignored the inquiries.

Surely they couldn’t have something to hide, could they? Surely they are just bursting with pride about their Drag University, and want all Princeton parents and alumni to know about it, don’t they? Don’t they? If not, why not? Could it be that somewhere underneath their dresses, exaggerated makeup, and wigs, Princeton administrators still have some understanding that this sort of “academic course” is deeply offensive on numerous levels and has no place in any decent university? Inconceivable!