I think it is quite safe to assume that we’ve all wanted something so badly that we took such great care to make sure every little detail was taken care of to ensure we had the greatest chances of having that certain something happen or appear in our lives.

We might do a ton of research and get all our ducks in a row to prepare. We do the work and we put our heart and sweat into it thinking how awesome it’s going to be to reach our goal. But what happens if we don’t? Or that which we’ve put so much into and worked so hard for just simply does not manifest into our lives?

For some reason, most of us tend to immediately go to self-blame, wondering if we missed something or did something wrong. Perhaps we go onto to tell ourselves the story that “we didn’t work hard enough” or that “we really don’t deserve it” and that’s why it never showed up.

I used to be one of those types of people. When I truly care about something, I put my heart and soul into it and in the past when things didn’t work out the way I had envisioned in my head, I was often overcome with disappointment and would immediately blame myself. I should’ve tried harder…I should’ve given more of my time and attention. And the worst and most common story I continually told myself was that I simply didn’t deserve it. This story, I later found out, stems from a core belief that I wasn’t good enough and the second I changed that belief, my entire outlook on life changed as well.

What I’ve come to realize about people and most importantly about myself is that the more we are able to see ourselves through eyes of love, the more we are able to live our lives peacefully, without fear and with full trust that the Universe has got your back. And when we are capable of doing that, we are also more easily able to see that when things don’t work out the way we planned, it’s not that we don’t deserve the things we want. Sometimes the Universe just has a strange way of wrapping the gifts it delivers to you. 

For instance, we might really want a certain position at work, and while we know we are more than qualified we learn that we didn’t get it. At first it’s tempting to start thinking badly about ourselves, or maybe even that there’s some favoritism going on and “the other guy” got chosen for the job over you because he’s just the boss’ favorite and is always kissing up to them. But when a month goes by and you hear just how horrible of a time Mr. Favorite is having, plus you get offered a newly created position that allows you use some other creative skills you have…well NOW it just all makes sense why you didn’t get the first job, right? It simply wasn’t meant for you, and the Universe knew it the entire time and beautifully orchestrated what it had to, to align you with the path you were more in resonance with.

The more I bring this mindset to times I could’ve been disappointed, I always come to find that I was being lead to something even bigger and better than I could’ve imagined. This has allowed me to learn to live more deeply involved in my own life, but less attached to it if that makes sense. (I feel like I read that in a fortune cookie somewhere, but it is EXCELLENT advice!)

Being less attached to the outcome has also allowed me to stop worrying about the “how”. When I look to manifest something in my life I know that it’s more than just intention and focused thoughts and that I must put action behind my intentions and thoughts. But I also know that I cannot get caught up in minute details of how it will happen. I’ve had some amazing things manifest in my life and I could never in a million years have ever imagined it would come together or work out the way it did. I truly think that the Universe does that on purpose so that we don’t forget the magic of our own creations!