A Whole New Meaning To “Swearing Before the Court”

“Look here, old man, when I told you I AM Justice — I meant it. It took me about 1 month to study the history of the world and to learn the history and inner workings American jurisprudence, literally. I was born to do this here. Don’t you know that your FBI and CIA have been trying to recruit me since grade school? Lol. But they’re unscrupulous losers like you, so it won’t be happening.

Instead, I will educate the People, and hopefully one day, if we are lucky, why will rise up against you oppressive, lying traitors and hang you all for the crime you have committed against us all.”

This is easily one of the most important legal documents we have ever read, and we’re quite impressed, especially because Clark attaches a 25-page supplement explaining why no one is required to pay taxes. It is from her website, which we could easily read all day, but we won’t, because we fear we may have already numbed several parts of our cerebral cortex already.