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RedState Exclusive: New Secret Plan that Guarantees a Massive US-Mexico Border Wall With Mexico to Bear the Entire Cost

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As controversy swirls around Donald Trump’s saying that he and Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto did not discuss which country would pay for the border wall that Trump pledges to build and the Mexican president later tweeting that he told Trump that Mexico would not pay for it, RedState has uncovered information yet to be discovered by any other outlet that could change the dynamics of the presidential campaign.

From the same source from which RedState was able to alert its readers about a secret group working to erect “Ready for Hillary” signs in front of prisons across the country, we exclusively learned early this morning that group’s highly-regarded spokesperson is now also a top secret advisor to Trump, a development some suggest is certain to lead to a significant uptick in Hillary Clinton’s outbursts of ticking and twitching that keeps making her look like she’s experiencing seizures.

Within minutes of the media reporting about the conflicting comments by Trump and the Mexican president regarding payment for the wall, this mystery person signed on as a top secret Trump advisor and only minutes later was proposing an astonishing secret plan that virtually guarantees once and for all the end of illegal crossings at the US-Mexican border. His plan includes a massive wall for which Mexico will – definitely will – bear the entire cost.

Following is a transcript of RedState’s conversation with this new top secret Trump advisor:

RedState: Congratulations on your new role. Will this in any way affect your work for the secret group Justice for All and the campaigns you and they are conducting to erect “Ready for Hillary” signs in front of as many prisons as possible across the country and to rename the Clinton Correctional Facility in Dannemora, New York, the Hillary Clinton Correctional Facility?

Spokesperson: Not in the slightest. I’m committed to doing as much of the country’s vital work as possible.

RedState: Don’t you have a name by which we can address you?

Spokesperson: I do and you can’t. I told you before: we’re dealing with the Clintons here and I’m not a member of any “Lives Matter” group. Enough said.

RedState: How about we call you “Secret Guy” rather than “Spokesperson?” After all, you’ve now come out as a top secret Trump advisor.

Spokesperson: Fine. Secret Guy it is. No need to make it Top Secret Guy.

RedState: Will Donald Trump at some point be announcing who you are and what your role is?

Secret Guy: No chance. He doesn’t know. I haven’t told him or anyone else my name. And Trump doesn’t even know I’m a Trump advisor. Like I told you, it’s top secret.

RedState: So, let us get this right: You’re so top secret a Trump advisor that Trump doesn’t even know you’re a Trump advisor?

Secret Guy: Exactly. So top secret, in fact, that this is perhaps America’s only top secret that Hillary Clinton is unable to find a way to share with America’s enemies.

RedState: But how were you able to sign on as a top secret Trump advisor?

Secret Guy: I signed myself on. Why you trying to make a big deal of the details? Look, we have the secret ballot for elections yet everyone runs around saying whom they’re voting for and we read polls in which people blab about whom they’re voting for – so if I decide to be a secret advisor and actually keep things absolutely secret you should be praising this rather than appearing to say I shouldn’t keep my secret just because others fail to.

RedState: But we understand that through RedState exclusively you are prepared to tell America the astonishingly brilliant plan you propose that virtually guarantees once and for all the end of illegal crossings at the US-Mexican border. No administration has been able to accomplish this. No one has ever thought of a way.

Secret Guy: Yes. Until now.

RedState: And your plan will result in a massive wall along the US-Mexican border for which Mexico will – will – bear the entire cost. The entire cost. Isn’t this impossibly difficult to pull off?

Secret Guy: It’s simply and it’s easy – IF you use your brain.

RedState: Please explain. But first, it won’t be a secret once you do so how do you explain this.

Secret Guy: I decide what’s secret and when do declassify my own secrets. Just like the government does. Now…You need to think about history and how the changing geopolitical situation makes my proposal such an obvious solution. I can’t believe I’m the only one to grasp it. It just requires smart adaptation to post-Cold War political realities. Back when we had the Soviet Union we faced a situation in which we needed to be greatly concerned that Communist Cuba was just 90 miles from us and that the Communists were making great strides in Central America. Reagan was wisely countering them by aiding the Contras, the anti-Communists, while the Democrats were advocating that we dispatch Welcome Wagon. Real Americans were rightly worried what a horrible situation America would be confronted with if a Communist regime came to power in Mexico. Are you following me?

RedState: What you’re saying is true, but how does this have any bearing whatsoever on the matter of a massive border wall along the US-Mexican border and Mexico’s somehow having to bear the enormous cost of its construction.

Secret Guy: You really don’t get it, huh? You will. With the collapse of the Soviet Union we no longer need to worry so much about Mexico’s going Communist, get it? And that’s the solution no one but me has figured out.

RedState: What?

Secret Guy: We have the CIA overthrow the Mexican government and install a Communist regime.

RedState: What!!!

Secret Guy: Think about it: What is the one thing – the only thing – that Commies are great at doing? Keeping people in!  They are great at keeping people in!  Why should we spend so much on keeping people out – something we are obviously no good at – when we could simply let the Commies spend their money on keeping them in.

RedState: They’d build a wall?

Secret Guy: Commies love building walls. Remember the Berlin Wall? Now, of course, I know its going up was not a good thing. Yet I probably should remind you and all Americans that perhaps because of it here in America we never experienced hearing a telephone message telling us to Press 1 for English or 2 for East German.

RedState: Wouldn’t Mexico be upset about its government being overthrown by our CIA?

Secret Guy: Maybe. Maybe not. Every news report about Trump’s visit to Mexico mentions how the Mexican people cannot stand President Enrique Pena Nieto and consider him a crook. Some of them, I hear, refer to him as “Our Hillary.” Anyhow, we wouldn’t confirm that the CIA orchestrated the installation of the new wall-building-loving Commie government.

RedState: But we’re talking about it right here!

Secret Guy: You need to brush up on your international diplomacy. When the Commie regime takes over and some try to pin it on our CIA we just say maybe it occurred because some Commies read this RedState interview while working on opposition research for the Democrat National Committee. Plausible denial.

RedState: Somewhat or barely plausible is what they’d say.

Secret Guy: It’s not what they say that matters, it’s what we are able to accomplish.  Anyhow, up goes the wall. The border is finally secure. And Mexicans get to work at home building the wall. Problem solved. And you know who else this really sticks it to?

RedState: Who?

Secret Guy: The Chinese Commies.

RedState: How’s that?

Secret Guy: Think: The US-Mexican border runs some 2,000 miles. Any wall that runs that long, even if broken up here and there, is a GREAT WALL. And even though it will, of course, have to be built on the Mexican side of the border we will brand it as The Great Wall of America.

RedState: You saying calling it that really sticks it to the Chinese Communists?

Secret Guy: No. Again, think: The Great Wall of China is China’s biggest tourism draw. Until now this is partly because it’s the only Great Wall.  No tourist ever travels to see a Good Wall; you need a Great Wall to bring in big tourism revenue. Well, now people in the US wouldn’t have to go all the way to China to see a Great Wall. Tourists who’ve seen China’s will want to come see The Great Wall of America (again, the branding is important). People from all over the world, even from China, will be pouring into Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and southern California to spend money in those states while visiting The Great Wall of America. You don’t think that’ll tick off the Red Rats ruling China? I do.

RedState: How do you think the American people will respond to your plan?

Secret Guy: With wild enthusiasm. They’ll probably want to make me president.

RedState: Would you agree to run for president if perhaps out of gratitude for solving this problem, which no one else ever could, Trump stepped aside for you?

Secret Guy: No. Too difficult to be a hermit and President of the United States simultaneously.

RedState: But you will still simultaneously be a top secret Trump advisor and spokesperson for the secret group working to ready a prison for Hillary?

Secret Guy: Yes. And you are invited to attend our news conference next week in which we will uncover a serious matter having to do with The Suspect Hillary Clinton that has been overlooked by prosecutors and the media and, incredibly enough, even every Republican, not one of whom has an excuse for doing so.

RedState: Count on RedState being there.

The post RedState Exclusive: New Secret Plan that Guarantees a Massive US-Mexico Border Wall With Mexico to Bear the Entire Cost appeared first on RedState.


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