Jurassic World — Hollywood and the Hokey Villain: A Political Deconstruction

• The evil (no doubt, Republican) businessman who wants to destroy wonderful things in order to make money.

Oddly, this character is usually already so rich that making more money won’t even make a difference. Such was the case in Dwayne Johnson’s recent Rampage — “I have ten billion dollars… But if I do this really evil and highly illegal thing — which could send me to prison for LIFE — I’ll have ELEVEN billion dollars!!!! Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!” SO STUPID. If you have $2 billion, you can put your money in an investment yielding 5% and live off $100 million interest per year. You have no reason to risk going to Shawshank for extra capital in case you ever need to purchase the moon.

• The over-testosteroned (no doubt, Republican), freelance-for-hire military sadist — often with either a face scar or an eye patch, and sometimes both — who just wants to get ta warrin’ and get ta killin’.

This character, like the one above, does not exist in real life. He always has an army of generically evil goons at his disposal, and he invariably goes outside of policy and his directive in order to be extra evil and sadistic and corrupt (unfailingly guaranteeing his demise). He gleefully kills people and animals in the process of his imbecilic attempt at some additional cash, while also putting himself — despite the fact that he’s clearly already successful (as is evidenced by his army of goons) — at preposterously high risk of going to prison for life.

Sigh.

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