Beto’s Problems are Exclusively Financial, so He Needs You to Send Him $2 Million – Pronto

Democratic presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke speaks at the Iowa Federation of Labor convention, Wednesday, Aug. 21, 2019, in Altoona, Iowa. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

On Friday, Beto O’Rourke revealed his third quarter campaign take: $4.5 million.

That was nearly a cool mil more than quarter 2.

Still, his Democratic adversaries raised more.

O’Rourke took to the webwaves for an urgent plea: Send money, pronto.

He needs this “breakthrough.” STOP.  Send cash. STOP. Blessings await. STOP.

Or maybe just stop?

No way — the punk rocker expressed optimism about the campaign’s “wonderful trajectory” and expectations of snagging California, Nevada, and Texas for the nomination.

He’s got a “path”:

“We have a path to the nomination — and through that, a path to the presidency — but at this moment we’ve got to break through. So, I need everyone’s help, doing everything that they can…to make sure that you make this commitment now. There is no later moment to do it. It must happen now if we’re going to make the most of this moment, of the momentum that we have, of this wonderful trajectory that we’re on.”

Back to that 4.5, in his race against Ted Cruz, Beto broke the record for contributions in a single quarter, making the books with $38.1 million.

Ted — who won — only raised 12, but that was still the third-highest senate fundraising for that quarter.

I’m no mathematician, but perhaps Beto’s problem isn’t cashflow.

Then again, what do I know? So he needs $2 million over the next six weeks.

“If we’re going to take this campaign to the next level and move up in the standings, we are going to need your help right now. I often say this is a critical moment for the country, and now it’s a critical moment for the campaign too.”

He’s ready to let people know about him:

“We believe we have the right message. But we need a monumental amount of money this month to make sure we get on that debate stage in November, reach out to folks who don’t know us yet, pay for our ads, grow our organizing team, and all the other ingredients we need to get right so we can win this thing.”

I’m just spitballing here, but it may be that folks already know about him, and that’s why he’s at 2% — they know he’s the millionaire inheritor who’s going to seek and destroy privileged wealth (here), he’s the one who said anything less than him isn’t good enough for the country (here), he’s the guy who blamed them and their lives of “excesses” for illegal immigration and starving Central Americans (here), he’s the guy who tried to show he was like them by conspicuously changing a tire without a speck of sweat or grease and his shirt tucked in (here), and he’s the thief who’s literally promised — complete with T-shirts — to steal their hunting rifles just ’cause (here). And if he doesn’t know their hunting rifles (here), then he’s the guy who’s too inept to find out about the very thing he’s willing to forcibly take from millions of Americans’ homes.

And, as reported by the Catholic News Agency, he’s also this guy:

On Thursday night, during and Equality Townhall hosted and broadcast on CNN, Robert Francis O’Rourke, a former congressman, was asked by CNN anchor Don Lemon if he thought that “religious institutions like colleges, churches, charities, should they lose their tax exempt status if they oppose same sex marriage?”

O’Rourke answered “yes,” and after applause and cheers from the crowd, added, “there can be no reward, no benefit, no tax break, for anyone or any institution, any organization in America that denies the full human rights and the full civil rights of every single one of us. And so, as president, we’re going to make that a priority, and we are going to stop those who are infringing upon the human rights of our fellow Americans.”

Nevertheless, he insists he’s the only “candidate in this field who can compete in blue states and in red states…”

Beto’s ready to fulfill his promises.

And all he needs is $1 million for each percentage point in the polls.

He inherited millions of dollars; he married into half a billion dollars; and he raised over $40 million for a campaign that never got there. But he needs you to send him $2 mil so he can steal from you.

Politics is a very strange place.

But it looks to be good work if you can get it.

-ALEX

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