Please Take a Look at This One Again

A friend recently told us they had been reading some of our older articles and really enjoyed one titled Just Grow Up! They said it made them laugh, but it also made them think, so we went back and read it. Sometimes it’s funny to reread something you have written, especially when you don’t really remember what it was about, and sometimes it really doesn’t seem like we have written some of these articles, it must have been somebody else. This is one of those. If you’re relatively new to the blog, or if you have been reading for a while, we hope you enjoy this article, which we wrote about a year ago. One thing that struck me was the question about whether we are better off now than we were a year ago. Let us know what you think.

Until next time – Fern

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Originally published November 1, 2014

Just Grow Up!

You know, sometimes there are people that just won’t grow up. They want someone else to do everything for them, make decisions for them, make sure they don’t fail, tell them how and what to think, and just in general present themselves as whiny, sniveling, dependent pests. Fern doesn’t care much for whiners. Well, that wasn’t very nice was it? But it’s true. Sorry, but some people may find this post to be a tad bit irritating and others may find it to be offensive. If you find it offensive, then let us apologize now. If you find it irritating, good.

There are many people that just can’t make a decision. They waffle back and forth, and back and forth, until they’ve dug a trench in the ground deep enough to bury themselves, and still no decision has been made. One time Frank was in a staff meeting where the decision of the day was what color table cloth to put on a table for a student event. After 45 minutes of discussion, still no decision was made, and Frank was just about to lose his mind. Frank is a very decisive person. He considers the information presented, analyzes the situation and makes a decision. If it is something that is imminent, he has a decision made in a matter of minutes or seconds. If it is something that can wait, he will take more time to ponder things. The ability to make a decision is one of the things that made Frank a very effective school principal. He was once in a meeting where the athletic director was being questioned about something that had happened. We always admired the response the director gave when he was questioned. “It was my call, and I made it.” That’s it. Situation, analysis, decision. 

Folks that continually sway back and forth will be greatly taxed to decide what to do when faced with a life and death survival situation. That indecisiveness may be the death of everyone involved. Even if it is the wrong decision, in most situations a decision must be made. Hopefully if the wrong decision is reached, there will be time to correct it or recover from it, but standing by and wringing your hands is not the thing to do. Decide and take action instead of wasting precious time wondering what to do, or waiting for someone else to decide for you.

Frank has people contact him about radio information. “What is the best radio?” And he repeatedly responds, there is no best radio, there is no best gun, there is no best truck. Frank is always polite, of course, but in the real world, he is not always polite. He reminds people of the old saying, “If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.” You see, he can’t decide what radio is best for someone. He has decided what radio is best for him. He has decided that multiple times. And next month, he may decide that there is another best radio for him. But, all of these are his choices. We all learn everyday. Sometimes we get new information, but we can’t always wait for that perfect, in this case, radio. New and improved is not always better. 

There comes a time when you have to decide what is best for you, your family and sometimes your community. Frank has been known to tell people, “Start at the shallow end of the pool and work your way in.” If you can’t swim, don’t jump into the deep end of the pool. Frank has a name for that, he calls it stupid. Start at the shallow end, take your time. No one says you have to go to the deep end any time soon. That’s your decision, and your choice, when you do that. Frank, in his gentle demeanor, has insinuated to folks that if you’re afraid to get into the shallow end of the pool, then go back and play in the kiddie pool. Everything is safe in the kiddie pool, because the kiddie pool always has adult supervision.

This might sound a little harsh. It might sound even a little bit cruel, but indecisiveness, especially paralyzing indecisiveness, can stagger any form of growth. So, what color of table cloth did they decide at that Christmas meeting? Red, green, red, green? Instead of being a two hour decision, in Frank’s mind it was a two second decision. Little background here. This was one day at school where they were going to show a video. There was a table at the back of the room, one table, with cookies and chips, in a semi dark room. Well, I can’t decide. Green or red?? Five adult educators, two hours later, and no decision. There are reasons why some people drink.

Okay. It doesn’t make any difference what gun you choose, because it is your choice. But people will debate to the end of the earth which caliber is best to stop a 190 pound deer. It’s an endless discussion. The Ford, Chevy, Dodge debate will go on until we go back to horse and wagon. I’m not even going to address sporting events. Making a decision is as easy as flipping a coin. Now this is from Frank. Grow up, man up and do what is right. And then you hear this whining sound. But what if I don’t make the right decision? Then call up your mommy and ask her! And if your decision doesn’t work out for you, you can always blame the former administration. I’m sorry, I meant to say, the way you were raised.

Like I said earlier. Grow up and man up, and make a decision. More people have been killed or hurt by indecisiveness, not by wrong decisions, but by no decisions. If your family is in danger, what are you going to do? Stand there and chew on your fingernails and wet your pants? Can’t you see the storms coming? Take a time frame of five years and look back five years. Look at every major factor that affects your lives, and tell me if any one of them is getting better. And you seriously believe that in the next five years that things are going to get better? 

It doesn’t make any difference whether you bug in, bug out, but you’ve got to get off of the fence and make a decision. And if you can’t make a

decision now, when are you going to? Well, I don’t know what my neighbors would think if I were to store food. Who cares?? It’s none of their business. Well, I’ve read that a 223 is too small. I’ve read that a 9mm is too small. Excuse me here, but there have been more humans stopped with a 223, which is a 5.56, in modern times than any other round. What is the debate? Well, I want a 7.62 x 39. Then get one! Quit reading and get which ever one you want, but decide! The 9mm issue. But a .45 has better stopping power. Can’t deny that, especially if a man is running at you with a spear. But the 9mm has sent more people to heaven than the .45 has. Let’s see, give me a choice, 9mm seventeen shots, .45 maybe ten shots. You decide, but do it today. And if you can’t decide, flip a coin and go with whichever way it lands. Do you need somebody to tell you what kind of coin to flip? Once you make a decision, don’t go back and second guess yourself. This activity is counter productive. Look forward, not backwards. Do this a few times and it will get much easier.

There comes a time in life where we have to step up to the plate, and I’m speaking to the men here primarily. You will never get on base, much less make it home if you are afraid to step up to the plate and take a swing. A boss of mine years ago told me more than once, “It’s time to put on your big girl panties and make a decision.” Or….there is the kiddie pool, but I guarantee you, the big pool is significantly more gratifying. Now what shall I have to eat? Scrambled eggs or fried eggs? Decisions, decisions!

Frank & Fern
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