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Ferengi gookla and other culinary disasters

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A few weeks ago, I saw a fabulous recipe for red lentil curry. I love red lentils and I love curry, so this seemed like a sublime combination.

I had to wait until after a trip to the city to make it, however, since the recipe called for a couple of spicy ingredients I didn’t have on hand, namely Thai red curry paste and something called garam masala. However I found them easily enough and brought home one of each.

Okay, maybe not precisely. The store didn’t carry garam masala, but it did have something called tikka masala. I took a chance and bought it.

A couple days ago, I pulled together all the necessary ingredients. Note the majority of the recipe calls for red lentils, potatoes, and onions thrown into a slow cooker with a bunch of spices. What could go wrong?

So I peeled and chopped and diced, and put everything in the slow cooker for several hours.

By dinnertime, it looked great. I added the last ingredient (plain yogurt, an acceptable substitute for coconut milk) and stirred it in.

Then I made some brown rice, put the red lentil curry over the top, and prepared to be wowed.

The results, to put it charitably, were underwhelming. The dish was bland and mushy. Don and I added ever-increasing amounts of spices to make it more palatable, but in the end the whole batch went into the burn barrel as inedible.

Don dubbed this dish “Ferengi gookla” and somehow it fit.

This culinary disaster brings to mind a comical post I saw recently entitled “30 Vintage Recipes That Are So Questionable, It’s Hard To Imagine What The Dishes Should Taste Like.” The entries (entrées?) were comical enough (mostly involving desperate 1950s concepts of elegant dining), but one contribution was so revolting that it stopped me in my tracks. In fact, I tried describing it to Don and was laughing so hard I was gasping and unable to get the words out.

Are you ready for this? Tuna ‘n waffles!

The reason I was laughing so hard is I loathe tuna with every fibre of my being. The very smell makes me want to puke. Seriously, it’s the only food that I find so revolting that I cannot fathom how anyone (are you hearing this, Don and kids?) can possibly consume it.

And to pair something so obnoxious with something as tasty as waffles (and even cream of mushroom soup) makes me question the sanity of whoever thought this up.

So, in light of my Ferengi gookla and some insane person’s tuna ‘n waffles, let’s hear your experiences with your own culinary disasters. It will give everyone a chuckle.


Source: http://www.rural-revolution.com/2021/06/ferengi-gookla-and-other-culinary.html


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