Love’s Illusions

Love’s Illusions

by Paul Kowalewski

I recently had a heartfelt conversation with someone who told me that he thought he had put too much undo pressure on his kids as they were growing up. He expected them to be honor students at school, to be heroes on the sports field, and always perfectly well-mannered.

The Dad lamented: “I thought I pushed them so hard because I loved them and wanted the best for them, but now that I am older and they are all grown up, I look back and I wonder if I didn’t do this for myself?” The man went on to say, “I wanted people to praise me because I had such smart kids who were such great athletes and so well behaved–good job!”

I told the Dad that I thought he had gained some great wisdom in his later years of life. I have no doubt that he loved his kids, but I also think he probably did push them so hard for his own self-interests – selfishness can often be disguised as love. At times, what looks like love is really an illusion. READ MORE

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