Day 2 of 6: Meditative Sounds & Feeling Fidgety

I… am feeling pretty weird right now…

I’ve been following my strict vegan diet, not allowing myself TV or video games, sleeping a lot, and laying around staring at the ceiling or out my windows. I’ve only been listening to nature soundtracks today. Later I might do some music, but right now even music is too heavy. And the goal is light, lite, light! Right? LOL!

I had to run an errand today and I was SLOW getting ready, but I managed to act normal while picking up medication and depositing my check. I didn’t feel normal, but it wasn’t especially noticeable to my roomies until later tonight. Cat could tell I was “wah-wah bananas” in her terminology.

Not doing anything and just being is not normal, and my body-mind was resistant today for awhile. I was fidgety and restless. Tossing and turning in bed and rubbing my feet together and wiggling my fingers. Just constant motion unless I was asleep. And I was muttering to myself a lot. Like the lack of speech during the day made me want to fill in the silence with my own voice if no one else was available (and I went out today and spoke to both roomies for several minutes, so it wasn’t my most isolated day.) I remember the restlessness from before when I did this. I don’t feel precisely bored yet, I just want to move. I would normally do some dancing or walking, but I was too tired for that so the energy came out in these random small ways.

But–! I consider today a success. I’m staying true to my goals and I put together an auditory way of accessing an alpha brain wave state! It works really well, and I’ll share it so anyone can try it if they want to!

I have the free version app of “Relax Melodies” downloaded onto my iPad and iPod. They have some great stuff and I’m considering signing up for a subscription, because they have meditation guides and bedtime stories and ALL kinds of sounds you can mix as you like (even with music!) But for now, I simply have the freebie.

If you go to “Composer” at the bottom of the screen and then hit the tag “Free” at the top of the screen– just tap 4 things: the 10hz biurnal beat, “Brain scanner,” “Monk chant,” and “Jupiter.” The combination is amazing! Then find a quiet spot and listen to it for as long as you can. It’s both relaxing and energizing in a strange way. I listened to it for several half hour stints and it made me feel quite “groovy.”

The reason is simple: our brains respond to some sounds, especially on headphones, in predictable ways. The biurnal beats thump at a certain speed, then the brain scanner one goes back and forth between your ears, the Jupiter one is a more interesting version of “brown noise” which I really like for relaxing, and the deep chanting messages your ears. Together, it manages to shift your consciousness quite easily. It’s almost, but not quite, too much!

Tomorrow, I hope I am calmer, but also have energy to move around more. Moving to music really helps me get the fidgets out of my system. I also hope I don’t talk as much. Today was better than yesterday, but I’m still too socially stimulated for this work. (All of which is why it takes me several days to get to the head space I want… I have to re-learn how to stop being… normal.)