Feeling Truly Hopeful About the Future

It’s been a while since I’ve felt comfortable in my own skin, in my own life, and truly hopeful about the future. Things have been so unrelentingly negative for so many years..! My marriage soured, then came the divorce, then Sharn’s illness & death, and then Cat and I scrambling to move and organize her things while she was in mourning, then I broke my foot, then there came incredible political rancor, the pandemic, and the ending of a 42 year long close friendship.

It’s been a little difficult to relax and just feel okay about things for quite a while!

This last couple of months has put me in a great place by comparison. I know there are many challenges ahead, but I’ve somehow managed to negotiate through 3 moves and all the chaos and exhaustion to actually have a steady life situation for the foreseeable future. I have a support network of roomies and friends that can finally be accessed in person (at least until a Covid variant comes along that shuts things down again for a while).

Most importantly, I have a plan moving forward, and several people are helping me see that plan through! Indeed, the Universe Itself seems to be pushing things into place to help me succeed in my current endeavors.

I’m even starting to feel signs of a summer remission coming! I’ve had a hell of a time with flares these last 2 years, and I’m very eager to have some energy to pursue my many projects, whether that’s writing or other forms of media, or finally getting my room put together and decorated and starting my goth garden and a fire circle. I may actually be able to get out of a chair or bed and move my ass sometimes for a few weeks to months! Wouldn’t that be amazing?

I’ve been perpetually behind due to migraines during a 2 week period and since then I’ve been crazy busy. As soon as I get remission days, I jump to work on all the physical things that seem impossible to get to while I’m in my normal low-functionality state. However, I think I’ll be swiftly catching up soon and many exciting things will be happening!

The world is still scary, but my tiny corner of it is becoming the sanctuary and creative space I’ve longed for my entire life! =^D