The WIRE: Your week in review

From burying McCain to In-N-Out’s pain — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest^® presents: The WIRE!

Surely, we can put aside the partisan baloney long enough to bury Senator John McCain. I mean, can’t we at least agree that a funeral is an inappropriate spot for less-than-subtle jabs at President Donald Trump?

Nope.

Witness the zeal with which they celebrated a deranged gamer opening fire on defenseless competitors at a video game tournament in the “gun-free” Jacksonville Landing. Someday, I hope to be as happy in life as the gun grabbers are when they’re turning shooting victims into sock puppets to blame the wrong people. At least, until they find out the psycho bought the gun in heavily gun-controlled Maryland.

Crazy guy buys gun in gun control state, uses it in different state. Obviously the NRA’s fault.

The anti-liberty hate group “Guns Down America” and their fuhrer, Igor Volsky, teamed with the fake news site “NowThis” to prove how “easy” it is to get a gun without a background check. But their ploy went sideways when a seller refused to sell a firearm to an out-of-state buyer with no questions asked; they couldn’t fit through the so-called “loophole.” So, they enlisted a local straw man to do it for them, evidently unaware that doing so is already a serious crime.

Uh guys, if you have to commit a felony to do it, it isn’t that “easy.”

Liberals pounced when Florida Republican gubernatorial nominee Rep. Ron DeSantis suggested people not “monkey up” their upcoming election, claiming his remark was a secret, racist dig at his opponent, the scandal-plagued liberal Andrew Gillum. Apparently, the Dems think “monkey” is a synonym for “black people.”

“Hey! You kids be careful playing on those black people bars!”

2016 loser Hillary Clinton’s homebrew server was apparently a digital revolving door for hackers, with news breaking that the infamous system, set up because the old girl didn’t like government systems, was also hacked by Chinese operatives. While critics noted this level of ineptitude is a result of either deliberate malfeasance or just plain stupidity, I bet the old girl thought she was programming the coffee maker.

Still has a VHS. Still flashing 12:00.

The Associated Press joined in the windmill-tilting over Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, shrieking “As a student at Yale in the 1980s, Brett Kavanaugh stayed out of debates on a campus that was going through many of them. Friends and acquaintances say he seemed more interested in basketball.” You mean there will finally be someone to challenge RBG’s rebounding in SCOTUS pickup hoops?

Watch out for Alito, though. Homeboy is a sniper from behind the arc.

Democrats cried butthurt when Vice President Mike Pence hammered the them for their reflexive opposition to Kavanaugh, noting that they’ve gone from “advice and consent” to “resist and obstruct.” MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough even claimed “GOP tribalism torched the process.”

“GOP Tribalism.” But his friends call him “Harry.”

Senator Elizabeth Warren (D- White Girl Warpath) believes socialism will save us. Ol’ Liewatha thinks her “Accountable Capitalism Act” will return us all to “a time in America when workers and investors each got a big chunk of the wealth they produced.” Is that kinda like, “Make America Great Again?” Because I think somebody took that one, already.

Besides, do you really want to go back to the “good old days?” They weren’t all that good for “your” people.

The bizarre tale of the New Mexico compound where Islamofascists were literally beating and starving children in an attempt to turn them into school shooters got even weirder this week. As if the hasty demolition of the site, and the easy bond for the accused, weren’t bad enough, it now appears all charges will be dropped, thanks to bumbling by the local D.A. and Sheriff’s offices.

Staff photo of the Taos County, New Mexico, law enforcement community.

Just days after they were caught fabricating their now-infamous “Trump Tower” story, CNN was ready to punch back at the president over his mocking them as “fake news.” According to CNN’s official PR team: “Make no mistake, Mr. President, CNN does not lie. We report the news.”

Ha. Oh wait, they’re serious? In that case: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Celebutante lawyer — and potential Democratic presidential candidate — Michael Avenatti wants to be taken seriously. Said Avenatti, before posing with his meal ticket — ahem — client, Stormy Daniels for famed photog Annie Leibowitz, Avenatti demanded people stop calling him a “celebrity.”

Look! It’s a picture of a fame-obsessed whore! And Stormy Daniels!

The latest reason the “resistance” wants Trump impeached? He doesn’t use computers. At least, that’s what lefty babble blog Slate claimed when they “reported” on the president’s luddite tendencies, complete with this photo “proving” their point:

Does he tweet from that complicated-looking typewriter on the desk behind him?

President Trump had a pretty good week, but he did manage to work in one solid Twitter fail, claiming “The Obama people did something that’s never been done…They spied on a rival presidential campaign.”

*never

Californistan is all set to go all wind power by 2040, thanks to a new bill rocketing through the state legislature. In an electricity-dependent place like Tinsel Town, that’s gonna make things — um — inventive.

“Faster, little buddy! I have to recharge the Tesla!”

Of course, Nabisco changing the artwork on Animal Crackers boxes to placate PETA wackos wasn’t enough. Leftist blog Vox claims the new, cage-free, depiction “doesn’t address any of the underlying issues about ethics, exploitation, and corporate greed.”

Coming soon to Vox dot com: Chips Ahoy cookies — coded pressure on five-year-olds to join the Navy?

And the latest target of the liberal outrage mob? In-N-Out Burger. The lefties have fixed the fast food chain in their cross hairs after In-N-Out was “exposed” for a donation of $25,000 to the California GOP, demanding a nationwide boycott.

Vegans boycotting a burger joint. This is why we laugh at you.

And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest^®, I’m Ben Crystal saying, “See you next week, on The WIRE!”

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