The Continuing Tale Of Jerimiah Johnson

About ten miles north of Layton, Utah lives Jerimiah Joseph Brigham Young Johnson. He generates his own power, draws water from a well, never cuts his hair, and has a truck that through the grace of God, still runs. In his basement there is a two year supply of preserved foods, a lot purchased from the Bishop’s store, but a goodly portion put up by his good wife, Emily, and her three “sisters,” preserved in the time honored canning pot method her grandmother taught her. There is enough food to last the family for two years, but with peach preserves and cases of Joseph Smith instant potatoes the family has up to fifty years to begin consumption. The family has two guns. A single barrel twelve gauge shotgun loaded with bird shot for shooting small critters, and a lever action Winchester for shooting big critters, all of which Emily will cook up, can, or jerk. Aside from some other things Jerimiah is a sidewalk soapbox preacher looking forward to the end of the world. He doesn’t stand out up there because all his neighbors are just about as weirded out as he is. Under the NDAA Jerimiah is a terrorist of the ninth order with no constitutional rights.

The NDAA started out as most governmental boondoggles do. An overreaction to some perceived threat to the populace which had to be addressed. Just like marijuana. The government figured that smoking joints would bring the end of all civilization so they filled up the prisons with potheads. Canada just legalized it. The trouble with government mandates is that they never UNmandate anything. Pass a law against marijuana, declare a war on drugs, sell guns to the newly formed and highly successful cartels. Uh, drugs won folks.

The NDAA was the knee jerk reaction to all them Arab Fellers terrorizing Wall Street, and making the white folk Ill at ease. We got the Patriot Act. Government agencies almost never reflect what the name implies. Patriot Act, National Defense Authorization Act, Child Protective Services. Then they head lickity split for the absurd. What was intended to keep Ahmed Mohammed from boarding a plane with a briefcase full of C4 ends up getting young girls stripped by the TSA in a private viewing. Nice work if you can get it. And it’s the LAW!

So here we are at a junction. The NDAA is coming up for a look-see before Congress. These guys and gals who most recently tried to figure out what to do with a drunk girl at a party will put their collective intellects to trying to work around that nasty ol’ 4th amendment. Good luck! They haven’t figured out the 2nd yet, and it’s only got one sentence and a comma. The comma’s what done it. Sometimes a comma is just a comma. And you’re PAYING these people folks!

I know I was reaching a bit with the story of Jerimiah at the beginning of this article, but understand this. The business model of government is to do anything without having to resort to work. It’s much easier to sit up there in Congress and discuss thirty-six year old beer parties than to fix a sink, or serve a meal, or see the kids off to school. But they’re not a bit shy because Jerimiah doesn’t want any part of their dog and pony show, and don’t mind saying it. And Jerimiah would come screaming down out of those mountains to stand with you . . . will you stand with him? Well, of course you won’t. Because you’re a “Patriot!”

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