How to Prepare for Your Upcoming Divorce

How to Prepare for Your Upcoming Divorce

There’s no way to fully prepare for the emotional turmoil and legal wranglings of the typical divorce, but there are definitely some divorces that go more smoothly than others. A great deal of this depends on the actions and cooperation of both partners. We’ll take a look at both ways of doing things: the easy way and the hard way. For both you’ll need a qualified divorce attorney, but in both cases there is a great deal that you can do to make matters easier.

As of 2016, 1 in 2 marriages ended in divorce, about the same statistics as we always heard growing up. There’s no longer the old shame associated with divorce. People understand it’s something that just happens in life. But just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s easy. Here’s how to prepare yourself in two different categories of circumstance.

Amicable Divorce – In an amicable divorce, the partners do not want to remain married, but they don’t exactly hate each other either. They may be willing to cooperate and communicate extensively. Each partner may care a great deal that the other partner “land on their feet” following this major lifestyle change.

In this case, however rare it might be, it’s best to communicate as much and as well as possible, but not to rely solely on communication. At some point, the interests of both parties will become incompatible. At this point, attorneys for both parties should long have been involved so they could have apprised themselves of the situation as it developed. Without this observational advantage, attorneys have to play catchup, and this may result in a more difficult process than would have had to have been the case with two cooperating partners.

Non-amicable Divorce – Non-amicable divorces are the more common sort. In these situations, the two partners are not communicating at all, or when they do they are communicating with anger, frustration, or at least great difficulty. They have competing interests, and this has created an irrevocable rift in the relationship, even if it was far from perfect to begin with.

In these cases, it’s best for both parties to leave negotiations to the lawyers. It’s painful to negotiate with a person who thinks you’re a bad person. It’s trying to dredge up old memories and grievances. Lawyers deal with these situations every day, in more various circumstances than you can possibly imagine. You won’t be able to throw them anything they can’t handle.

Prepare by talking carefully with your lawyer to establish the best possible game plan. Get your personal life steady, and prepare your emotions for a difficult time to come. This will help you through the worst of it.

There is no one way to get through divorce. Divorcees all have their bumps and bruises from these lengthy and emotionally difficult events. Your divorce is unlikely to be an exception. Just make sure to prepare yourself, communicate where you can, but defer to your lawyer as they can defend your interests better than you can yourself.