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Collateral Damage

Tuesday, November 20, 2018 12:10

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Collateral Damage

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I have enjoyed over the years the wisdom of C S Lewis. Sometimes the reason for following Christ can become obscured, can be a little lost amidst the living of life. He, Christ, who calls us to follow, is “the reason” and I love the above quote for it reminds me not to neglect the reason, but welcome him into the very heart of all the living I am doing! I like the book it is from, it is worth reading more than once.

There are events beyond our control that leave a lasting impression upon us. It is not always what we do but how we respond. Treat others as you would like to be treated Luke 6:31. Pray for your enemies Mt 5:44, do good Galatians 6:9! The bible is clear in what we should do and sure when we fail to do good too as in Acts 3:19 we are to repent.

Last week the independent inquiry into child abuse IICSA highlighted some aspects of abuse within the Birmingham Archdiocese.

Reading the transcripts from each day’s interviews was hard to stomach. It was painful reading, disturbing. Reading these words made me angry, that some priests could do such wicked things is a vile betrayal of everything the priesthood stands for, and that the church in trying to make sense of it, at times made mistakes in response, groping blindly, stepping on lives and over lives, seen to be failing victims.

The context of life is different now as it was then, but this does not excuse or lessen the trauma and tragedy they convey. When I was at school the cane was still given, objects from teachers were thrown across rooms at pupils, very much of their day, this happened in reality.

Weary with the nature of the content of the transcripts, I felt emotional on so many levels. It is not for me to make judgements or to draw conclusions, I am sickened by abuse, it is never excusable, and I await the published reports and the reflection and action that will be taken subsequently.

I have been a priest for 26 and a half years, I arrived at seminary in 1986 and was ordained a priest in July 1992. I try each day to be the person that Jesus called to the priesthood. Some days I am flying, sailing along, other days I walk as if in treacle and still other days the walk is uneventful, but on the whole, on reflection, the priesthood is fulfilling and worthwhile.

How would I define the priesthood in the light of the inquiry in London last week? Collateral damage is how I feel defined at this present time. Damage inflicted upon unintended parties, that is collateral damage.

My wellbeing and esteem, my morale and worth is damaged by the actions of others, some I have not met. I have no control over what has happened and yet I am tainted by its stain, and left less equipped to cope with its consequences. I feel deflated and yet not defeated. I do not denigrate the victims of abuse highlighted at the inquiry by highlighting how its affects me personally, I am aware of how far reaching the consequences reach. Seeking the honesty of situations helps me to understand better. How I feel is a valid question for me.

I feel a sense of anger that seeks justice, I understand being powerless against another, I have experienced it in my own life, but the anger I feel is always tempered with trust. I am not consumed with anger, I am acutely aware of sin and its affects, I am aware of forgiveness too and it’s quality for healing. The church has always been the hospital for sinners, from the time that St Peter fled from the cross of Christ, we see entrusted to weakness, the mandate of the church.

The strength of the church comes from Christ and holding his hand, keeping closer to his presence and seeking his presence in all things. I do not walk away because I know the person of Christ, and have been in the presence of the Risen Christ, called and invited to speak and act in his name. In my prayers in difficult times I recall the words from C S Lewis and I Imagine myself as…“a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house.” And he is the builder always.

Source: http://humblepiety.blogspot.com/2018/11/collateral-damage.html

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Comments

Total 1 comment

desertspeaks

so god is narcissistic and materialistic, he must have the best? sounds like a kardashian,.. got it..

Nov 20, 2018, 12:25 pm 0 Reply

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