Cameron’s government regulates wanking, but refuses to regulate banking

 Cameron has introduced strict regulations on porn films for adults:

Spanking BANNED from porn under new government law – what else isn’t allowed?

- but refuses to introduce regulations for bankers:

Channel 4 News’ reporter gets angry over current state of UK banking regulation

 (satire?)

Regulator demands tighter oversight of management and conduct of Britain’s wanks

Britain’s wankers are facing tighter regulation after government regulators announced a surprise clampdown on more extreme wanking practices, in a clear sign the authorities have adopted a more hands-on approach to wanking.

Andrew Bailey, the executive in charge of supervising UK wanks, told the Financial Times that the new stricter regulations would allow regulators to experiment with specific incentives to encourage safer, risk-free wanking required by the Basel global wank safety rules and that after two decades of working with failed and failing wanking institutions, he was openly sceptical of wankers’ ability to police themselves.

In an unconnected development, government ministers have announced a dramatic slackening of existing regulations in the UK banking sector, in which Britain’s bankers will now be given free-range to indulge in extreme perverted acts at will, ranging from aggressive whipping of their hard-pressed bank customers to hard-core strangulation of the means to live for the majority of their struggling borrowers.

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The Coalition Government Colouring and Activity Book is now available for download as a PDF and in print: