For those with poor reception, a post-Brexit Britain explained

Yes, there are many well-made plans for what happens after June 30th 2018. This is just one of them

With just 72 hours to go before B-Day, it seems pretty clear that our Great Punter in the straw boater has noticed the trend among everyone from Waspy women to steel men in favour of voting Leave as the most immediate way of getting rid of him. And with this in mind, the man doing stunts and surrounded by Hunts has declared – with the authority attaching to him as Official School Bully – to “stay on whatever the result”. The Slog suggests how and why David Cameron can achieve this goal….by returning to his ancestral roots.

Here at Slogger’s Roost, some of our best brains have been on the case of how best to present the transition from Camerlot via Brexit to England during the two years following June 23rd. I have put them onto this task because the one flaw in the Prime Minister’s ‘decision’ to stay on (and thus thwart our real goal) is a small thing called the Conservative & Unionist Party.

While the tradition in the Labour Party is to maintain fierce loyalty to any leader however inept, the more Roman tradition among the Tories is to stab every loser in the front at the earliest possible opportunity. There will be even more bloody Ides after the Referendum vote, because whatever the result, on June 4th the Conservative parliamentary Party will become ungovernable – peopled as it will be by hardline eurosceptics, Theresa May, and the People’s Centurian Maximus Borisconibum – a key hero of the capture of London by the Wall Street legions of Aurum in Sacculis.

The fortunes of Bullingdon Man are in decline: only a thumping defeat for the Out campaign will save the hides of Dave and George, and it’s pretty clear that this is not going to happen. By the middle of July, in terms of genuine governance and clarity of leadership, Westminster is going to be a mess. By September at the very latest, Cameron will face a leadership challenge….and the Government itself charges of a serious nature relating to electoral skullduggery. Being by now a formidable Party in England, the SNP will continue to harrass an already traumatised Government; and if Waspi can inject some fire into its leadership, there is a decent chance that the Great Pension Heist on 1950’s women could be reversed.

But the as yet unseen irony here is that the Tories, Corbynite Labour and the SNP will all be on the same side – ie, both cut off from the maternalist EU Nazi in whose bosom they are still so happy to nestle.

My vision is therefore this. The Dark Knights of Camerlot would rather anyone other than Boris Johnson took over the reins of the Party, and they will work assiduously to pervert our increasingly flimsy parliamentary democracy to get what they want…situation normal. This will not be possible in the London borough of Westminster, because electorate patience will be wearing thin. Nor will the survival of Corbyn be on the cards: the man surely to be fingered by the Blairites as the man who let down the Establishment will also face a challenge – as I say, a first for Labour, because he will clearly be seen by the Burnhams and Coopers of this world as a suitable resting place for daggers.

However, many in all corners of the House will applaud the suggestion that follows.

Unable to keep either the Kingdom or the European mainland as a Union, the Whiteminster legislator-bureaucrat europhile complex should decamp en masse to Edinburgh, and found the Neoliberal National Socialist Party, or Neo-Nasis for short.

There the duopoly of Tory Blairites and Scottish Nationalists could have an electoral  bunfight every five years, enjoy their favoured irrelevant policy debates, and eventually become a significantly peripheral region of Wolfie Schäuble’s Fiskalunion running the newly formed SHAEF (2025) GmBh – The Supremely Hanseatic Americo-European Federation. The London Square Mile would of course emigrate lock, stock and barrel north of the Border. After a brief period of indecision, Boris Johnson would relocate there, and be elected Mayor of Glasgow….waiting as ever for his chance to pounce.

It would be just like old times.

This would leave England free to enjoy regular and lively electoral contests between the Corbyn Democratic People’s Communist Party, the Brighton Bonghead Green Alliance, and the rapidly growing BECORAS – Benthamite Communitarian Radicals.

The eventually victorious BECORAS could then turn Whiteminster into a theme park, while devolving all power down fifty communities. As the English Localist Republic it would  in time link up with Portugal, Ireland, Greece and Hungary to form the European Economic Communitarians….or EEC.

And we would all live happily ever after. Perhaps.

At the weekend Slog: How the UK media used the suspension of campaigning to campaign harder than ever for Remain
Filed under: Life after Brexit – A sketch, Uncategorized Tagged: Brexit, English devolution, Rebirth of the EEC, Scotland