Those with dementia-Best ways to talk with them

For example: Instead of asking – “We’d like to take you out to dinner. Would you like to go for steak, seafood, pizza or a buffet?” – it would be much better to break those questions into separate parts. In that scenario, you just threw too much at a person with Alzheimer’s or dementia. There is the question of whether they want to go out to dinner; then you have offered three choices. This makes communication very difficult for someone with Alzheimer’s disease.

Since they are two separate decisions, first see if they are up for going out to dinner, and then determine where they go.

While it may seem loving, caring and considerate to offer flexibility and choices, a person with Alzheimer’s disease, another dementia or memory loss can easily feel overwhelmed by too many options. It’s usually better to just offer two choices or your communication will be hindered. If you don’t understand the speech and communication challenges facing a person with Alzheimer’s disease, other dementias or memory loss, it is easy to become frustrated as well.

All too often, well-meaning relatives and friends unwittingly create anxiety for their loved ones with Alzheimer’s by asking things like “you remember John, don’t you?” or “what did you have for breakfast?”

To someone with dementia, this can feel like a pop quiz that they do not know the answers to. What if they don’t remember John or what they had for breakfast? You could be setting them up to feel embarrassed or ashamed.

Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia do not make people forget how to feel these emotions, so while these are well-meaning questions, it would be much better to simply phrase them a little differently. Saying “Hey mom, John from our old neighborhood is here to see you,” or “How was breakfast today?” is much less likely to create anxiety or confusion, which significantly increases the likelihood of a positive experience for the person with dementia.