PETA Newspeak Dictionary Updates
PETA has issued a round of Newspeak Dictionary updates. Update your copy at once lest you fall into thoughtcrime.
Like many on the Left, the militant moonbats at PETA have studied their Orwell. Here is what the philologist Syme has to say about the narrowing of language in 1984:
“Don’t you see that the whole aim of Newspeak is to narrow the range of thought? In the end we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it. Every concept that can ever be needed, will be expressed by exactly one word, with its meaning rigidly defined and all its subsidiary meanings rubbed out and forgotten. Already, in the Eleventh Edition [of the Newspeak Dictionary], we’re not far from that point. But the process will still be continuing long after you and I are dead. Every year fewer and fewer words, and the range of consciousness always a little smaller. Even now, of course, there’s no reason or excuse for committing thoughtcrime. It’s merely a question of self-discipline, reality-control. But in the end there won’t be any need even for that. The Revolution will be complete when the language is perfect. …
“The whole climate of thought will be different. In fact there will be no thought, as we understand it now. Orthodoxy means not thinking — not needing to think.”
PETA does its part to make the Revolution complete by eliminating idioms that might remind us of a natural human diet or otherwise encourage a politically unorthodox attitude toward animals. The following expressions are now forbidden:
• Bring home the bacon.
• Put all your eggs in one basket.
• Kill two birds with one stone.
• Let the cat out of the bag.
• Take the bull by the horns.
• Be the guinea pig.
• Hold your horses.
• Open a can of worms.
• Beat a dead horse.
• More than one way to skin a cat.
Characteristically, PETA offers stilted but ideologically permissible alternatives, including “Bring home the bagels” and “Put all your berries in one bowl.”
On a tip from Dragon’s Lair. Hat tip: HumaneWatch.