The Benefits of Islam

This morning I read a news article about a Marine father that had been banned from his daughter’s school because of a ruckus he’d caused about a school assignment.  Apparently, a history assignment was given requiring the students to list the benefits of Islam.  The father had a visceral reaction to this particular assignment and strongly stated his case with school officials.  The result was the fathers banishment from the school grounds.

My first reaction was disgust but then, I started thinking about it.  Within minutes, I was doing the assignment in my head.  The more I thought, the more benefits I came up with.  Here are a few….

The Benefits of Islam

1. Economic.  Islam benefits the economic structure in so many ways.  When a terrorist bomb explodes, hundreds of economic entities go work.  Police and Rapid Response Teams flood the area.  Paramedics and EMT’s respond.  ER rooms go into overdrive and funeral homes experience a boom in business.  Once the dust has settled, municipalities, insurance companies and contractors go to work.  The economic impact in the area can go on for months.  Reconstruction, heightened security and PSTD treatment can last for years – adding even more of a financial windfall.
2. Education.  If you want smaller class sizes and streamlined education – Islam is your religion.  When you educate boys only, effectively eliminating roughly 1/2 of your student burden, you have the ability to work closely with each individual student.  Because you only teach a few core subjects – the Koran, Jihad and a few other choice electives, you have the ability to study your subject matter in depth, producing exceptionally dedicated, knowledgeable scholars.
3. Political.  The benefits of Islam in the political arena are myriad.  By doing away with pesky freedoms, both of speech and action, you simplify the political process significantly.  Swift elimination of political opponents, specifically by beheading, streamlines the political process and most often brings about a calming sense of continuity to the voting public.
4. Military/Defense.  This is one area where Islamic nations really shine.  Their countries benefit immensely from the non-structured yet mandatory implementation of aggressive para-military organizations.  Not only do they recruit from within the borders of their own countries, they effectively recruit members from all over the globe.  With the promise of eternal glory, their fighters are arguably the most dedicated in the world.
5. Environmental.  Islam is very environmentally conscious.  Rather than developing carbon fuel based guidance and delivery systems for their rockets and bombs, they use the much more environmentally friendly camel and donkey delivery systems.  In some cases, they use simple rocks (completely biodegradable) instead of manufactured munitions in their bid to protect mother nature.  And when using a more sophisticated delivery system (usually in the form of a Toyota pickup or Landcruiser), they make sure to use the most fuel efficient model.  Another aspect of environmentalism that is unique to Islamic nations is their fervent adherence to population control.   In an effort of keep their numbers down, their women are stoned at the first hint of an indiscretion and their children are regularly sacrificed to their cause.  Such a dedicated approach to saving the earth is rarely seen in the modern world. 
6. Social.  The social benefits of Islam are too numerous to mention.  In their quest to reduce envy, covetousness and lust, they have established a proven system of dress and manner that greatly benefits society at large.  Covering their women from head to toe and not allowing them to speak in public has produced a contented, joyful female population.  The men are equally happy, as evidenced by their quiet lives and tender reverence for their families.  All is well in the Islamic world.

This list could go on an on.  How clever of our schools to assign such thought provoking assignments!  Without effective dialog, how will we ever come to understand other cultures?  Score one for a good, ol’ fashioned American education! 

Would I get a good grade on my paper?