NATO No Joking Matter Say The Romanians

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British Army servicemen during World War I had a rather low opinion of their American Allies. A favourite joke was: “When the Germans fire the British duck. When the British fire the Germans duck; when the Americans fire, everyone ducks”.

When the British Amy used the acronym US on boxes to describe ‘Useless Goods’ the American army responded by labelling everything useless as GB (gone bad).  The Germans too had a sense of humour. When a silver aeroplane flies over, it’s American. When there’s a green ‘plane, it’s British. When there are no aircraft, that’s the Luftwaffe.

The Romanians, then an ally of the Reich, still wish the US and GB had not proved useless shits (US) and the British gone bonkers (GB).  At the recently held NATO international military exercises called Saber Guardian held in Romania, American soldiers hopelessly lost their way in the countryside. With their heavy-footed heavy military equipment, the lost troops destroyed a whole field of valuable sunflower, corn and wheat belonging to an enraged local farmer.

The inhabitants of the outskirts of the Romanian town of Fetesti were in a real panic when, at around 1:30 pm on a typical rustic working day, NATO tanks and armored vehicles suddenly appeared on the field. 

The hapless NATO military advanced steadily across the field, ignoring the crops of wheat, sunflower, and corn crunching under the tank tracks and wheels. Despairing Romanian workers tried to communicate with the soldiers in the cars. Sadly, the dumb military personal, following orders no doubt, ignored the farmers’ pleas. Despite the warnings NATO’s armies stubbornly continued to wade through the crops, destroying the harvest. Upon learning of this from their frightened workers, the field owner, local businessman Sorin-Paul Stanescu, immediately called the police. However, the police crew who arrived on call begged the distress farming communities to calm down; then informed the locals that everything is in order.

It turns out that large-scale international exercises of the NATO bloc countries take place here under the proud name Saber Guardian, which Romania is also a participant in.  When farmers asked why the program of the exercise included the destruction of wheat, sunflower and maize crops, the police said that the American soldiers simply got lost, allegedly due to  ‘erroneous coordinates’. 

In other words, their map reading skills were zilch. Having finally figured out they were in the wrong place the NATO ‘invasion force’ left the farmers fields ~ destroyed. By that time, it was already around 5:00 pm on the clock.

Sorin-Paul Stanescu appealed to the Fetesti Mayor’s Office for compensation, as the Americans completely destroyed his field with armored vehicles, burying the entire crop under the tracks of the tanks. 

The local authorities sent the farmer to the Romanian Ministry of Defense, referring to the fact that the incident occurred during a military operation. Defense Minister Gabriel Lesh pleaded guilty and promised to organize a special commission that will assess the damage done by American soldiers and determine the amount of compensation. Whose side is to blame for the transfer of incorrect coordinates, the official refused to report.

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Michael Walsh was awarded ‘Writer of the Year 2011’. With 60 books bearing his name, thousands of new stories and columns, Michael is arguably Britain and Europe’s most prolific author of multi-topic books none of which have been ghost-written.

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