The federal government last week went to unusual lengths to assure America that mermaids do not exist.

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The federal government last week went to unusual lengths to assure America that mermaids do not exist.

Really.

“No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found,” asserts the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration in an item posted June 27 to its website, www.noaa.gov.

But it gets stranger. Another federal agency seems to be muddying the mer-waters.

Search for BelieveInMermaids on the Web, and the Department of Homeland Security appears to have seized that domain.

Does the government protest too much? Just why are the G-men suddenly interested in mermaids? Have they been to Norfolk to check out ours?

NOAA’s interest, according to a spokeswoman, was spurred by a recently telecast TV show.

On Memorial Day, the Animal Planet channel aired a documentary purporting to show the discovery of a real mermaid.

“Mermaids: The Body Found” was the culmination of the channel’s annual Monster Week, which otherwise focused on piranhas, killer sharks and man-eating alligators. Real creatures all.

And the mermaids episode was based on fact.

One fact, to be exact: In 1997 two NOAA scientists recorded a bizarre sound in the Pacific. Called “The Bloop,” the sound was never identified.

The rest? Well, to put it politely, it’s less than true.

The faux-umentary purports to show two NOAA scientists as they go rogue, discover humanlike remains in the belly of a shark, conclude it’s a mermaid, and then are subject to a federal cover-up.

Never happened, NOAA said.

Then why the denial? Why post a refutation now?

Short story: The documentary convinced some viewers that mermaids were real.

“After the show ran, people were talking about mermaids a little more. It started popping up on social media,” NOAA spokeswoman Keeley Belva said. “It was an interesting topic, so we posted a short explanation. Maybe it will entice people to visit the noaa.gov website.”

All well and good. But what about the seized domain?

“It’s a hoax,” said Ross Feinstein, spokesman for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, which is a part of the Department of Homeland Security.

A look at the code behind the page reveals it’s still held by the parent company of the Animal Planet channel, Discovery Communications, which bills itself as “The World’s No. 1 Nonfiction Media Company.”

A spokesman for Discovery did not return calls.

“The websites we seize are part of what we call ‘Operation In Our Sites,’ a sustained law enforcement initiative to protect consumers by targeting counterfeit and piracy on the Internet,” Feinstein said. “This operation is focused on counterfeit goods and piracy, not freedom of speech – including those regarding the existence of mermaids.”

The lack of mermaid evidence hasn’t slowed their popularity in Norfolk, where they appear in the form of statues and on city posters, stationery and banners.

When Norfolk’s mermaid logo swam onto the scene about a dozen years ago, its job was to polish the perception of a city with a revitalized downtown. The image of the half-woman, half-sea dweller represents Norfolk’s nautical heritage.

The campaign began after the late attorney Peter G. Decker Jr. and his wife, Bess, suggested to city officials that they do something similar to Chicago’s “Cows on Parade” art exhibition. The city bought into the concept of life-size mermaids, hiring local artists and commissioning more than 100 statues to be mounted around downtown and various neighborhoods. The mermaids were dressed up with gold scales, American flags, nautical symbols.

Today, they continue to proliferate throughout town – proof enough of the mermaids’ popularity, if not their existence.

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