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By Dear Dirty America
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State Trooper Shoots from Helicopter & Kills Two Illegal Immigrants In Pickup

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ADAM MICHAEL LUEBKE
Los Angeles
Missouri University ladies shooting club, 1934

Here’s a cute story about the Wild West aspect of America. As it’s been written:

Two people were killed in Texas’s Rio Grande Valley after a state trooper flying in a highway patrol helicopter opened fire on a fleeing pickup authorities thought was smuggling drugs, officials said.

Of course, no drugs were found. Well, shit. Troopers did find two dead people, and a third gravely wounded. The vehicle was fleeing officers, so the state trooper opened fire from the air. Seven other people in the pickup were taken into custody. That’s a lot of people piling on that truck. The trooper knew he had good odds of picking off a few of them.

God, this is a great country. The only thing that could make it greater is if people started shooting back at the state trooper’s helicopter. If we’re going to have cops shooting at people, at vehicles filled with people, from their positions in the air, then I think it’s perfectly excusable to fire back.

Is that harsh? This trooper thought the pickup’s occupants were smuggling drugs. They weren’t. Instead, they were probably illegal immigrants. Which makes it kind of OK that he shot at them. It’s kind of like how so many criminals seem to reach into their waistbands when cops are chasing them. Then, two or five police officers shoot the fleeing suspects thirty or forty times. After the suspects are dead, the cops find no weapons. They say, “Well, he was reaching into his waistband.” That happens every day here in L.A.

Our criminals and suspected wrong doers are stupid. Why do they always reach into their waistbands if they don’t have guns? I just can’t figure that out. Yet, they all seem to do it.

Anyway, dear dirty America, here is a video of a goofy son of a bitch shooting coyotes from a helicopter. He smiles and gives a thumbs up after he kills one. Like it’s manly to shoot your gun at defenseless animals. As if that animal dropping to the ground, bullet in its head, somehow lengthens that man’s penis from a few inches to several.

It’s for animal control, you foolish liberal bastard, I can hear someone saying. Well, then why is he so arrogant about shooting something that can’t fight back? He should be solemn as a nun with indigestion sitting  in the back row of the chapel. He should be as sheepish as George W Bush attempting to answer questions about 9/11 without Dick Cheney nearby.

God, these people make me sick. Have a little courage and respect. In the next life, both the state trooper doing the shooting and this man killing coyotes will be doe rabbits. They’ll be repeatedly fucked by ruthless, cocky bucks until their female genitalia are swollen and burning. And just when they think their male counterparts have had enough, the coyotes will be howling. Stalking closer. Snapping jaws. Yellowed eyes. Dripping noses. Hungry. So, hungry.

If you waste your human consciousness in this lifetime, you’re going to be starting over in the next. And that’s the way it should be. People like these can’t be let into Heaven. I don’t care if they believe in Jesus as their savior. There has to be some intelligence, first, before they can enter Paradise. Otherwise, we’ll have to have Marines guarding the streets of Heaven, and the whole goddamned charade here on earth will start all over again up there.

SEE ALSO

In heaven they give out Rolls Royces for free

Presidential bollocks: it’s a corporate world of mind boggling mediocrity

It’s a Cyrano de Bergerac world

Subtle satire: Brad Pitt uses Chanel No 5 to deliver cryptic message

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    • Buckworth Jackson

      ‘m for tight borders, but this is horse – poop!

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