High Atop 'Mount Krumpit'

DAN RUDY
Voltaire, ND

A thunderously bountiful Thanksgiving to you all, fellow Dear and Dirties!  It may well be said that I’m most thankful this time of year for the friends and assorted family that make the other 364 such a wonderful experience.  Good food, good company, and the knowledge that I’ll stay home tomorrow (perhaps all weekend) and read something rather than slog through the clamour and din that has become the retailer’s Black Weekend.
One thing I do dislike about the holiday is and has long been the morning parade.  But far be it from me to spurn tradition!  As such, I did my civic duty and watched as much of it as could be done in a single sitting, reaping the dividend of a tale to tell.  Check out “Mount Krumpit” at the Sluff.

“How can you watch this crap?”
“Tradition,” I suppose aloud, intermittently mashing the mute button between the noxious slurry of songs, dance, and product placement.  Not even including proper commercials, those gaudy babbling baubly things razzle-dazzled brightly through the inane jokiness, with the promise of an unprecedented Black Friday hanging darkly in the background.  Fucking things.

A Happy Thanksgiving to y’all and y’urn, with a jolly fine bout of unprecedented merriment!