DIY laser surgery

I was taking in the long-awaited Lance confession on the Oprah network, when this commercial comes on informing me that I can save thousands of dollars by erasing my wrinkles with this handy laser tool, in the privacy of my own home, instead of running off to a pricey professional clinic.

I’m clear with Lance. This blog long ago called out Lance for doping. When the shit hit the fan we took the view that what he needs to do now is ‘fess up.

And this is the end of that. Ya, he’ll have some loose ends to tie up with a few of those folks he sued over the years, but that’s his problem.

So I do have a few wrinkles, but too few to mention. Find they lend a bit of character actually. But still, the idea that you can do laser surgery on yourself at home… well, that seems a bit messed up.

Mind you, for $79 bucks I think it would be cool to have the tool. Even if you never get around to giving yourself laser surgery I’m sure there’s lots of other useful applications.

If you have a wrinkly dog you could give it a try there.

You could light the BBQ with it.

Fire up them fatties.

Start campfires.

I’m sure there’s going to be a wave of self-righteous twats all over this Lance confession claiming that it isn’t nearly enough. The ever-unctuous Dick Pound is bound to weigh in on the matter, at which point I hope Lance tells him to pound dick.

Gosh… where did that come from?

But seriously, it’s time to leave Lance alone. Is it “cheating” when everybody else is doing it? No, it’s creating a level playing field.

Now that he’s ‘fessed up it’s time to move on.

Although I must say I’m still curious about what he got paid to ‘fess on Oprah…

And if times get really tough for Lance, we might yet see him as the official spokesman for the DIY home laser-surgery kit.