Fappy® The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin Kicks Off Nationwide School Tour
New York, NY — Fappy® The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and STOP Masturbation NOW are proud to announce a 31-city nationwide school tour focusing on educating both children and parents about the dangerous consequences of masturbation.
Lonnie Childs who is president and founder of Stop Masturbation Now said he is excited about the tour. “Thanks to your tax dollars, Fappy® the Anti-Masturbation Dolphin kicked off his nationwide school tour at Pansy Kidd Middle School in Poteau, Oklahoma. While there, Fappy® answered questions and spoke to students about the dangers of masturbation.”
“The kids just love him,” said 64-year old Paul Horner who is a teacher at Pansy Kidd Middle School. “Fappy® makes the kids laugh and educates them at the same time. He also is quite the tickle monster and the children just love wrestling with him. We can’t wait for Fappy® to come back next year!”
“Masturbation is a gateway drug to rape,” Childs told reporters. “It leads to sexual dysfunction, erodes family values, and is a top ten cause of disease. This nationwide tour is designed to help make children and parents aware of the dangers of masturbation in and outside of the home. If your arms are long enough to touch your private areas, you are a possible suspect in raping yourself.” Childs continued, “God willing, one day masturbation will be illegal.”
Fappy® The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin and Stop Masturbation Now are federally funded programs designed to teach children and adults about the dangers of masturbation. For a complete list of dates and locations of this tour, click here. For more information or if you would like Fappy® to visit your child’s school please call the 24-hour Fappy® Nationwide School Tour Hotline.
■Fappy® Nationwide School Tour Hotline: (785) 273-0325
http://superofficialnews.com/fappy-the-a…hool-tour/
2013-03-08 12:52:26
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This is by far the dumdess thing I have ever heard of……did I hear tax dollars mentioned…..exscuse me while I kiss the sky.
This can’t be serious////Fappy? I masturbate and when I get off, that’s what I scream…
Excuse me while I go fappy off.
This has to be some kind of joke or sarcasm. Are schools REALLY going to teach that pleasuring yourself is a leading cause of disease and leads to rape? I guess I wouldn’t be too surprised if it was true they are doing this, but the wording of this article makes me think it has to be a joke. If it is serious, I am appalled. Not only is masturbation completely healthy and natural, I’m pretty sure it can actually help relieve the symptoms of many things, like depression. When we orgasm, we release chemicals in our brain that gives us a boost, both emotionally and even physically. I know there are people who really do think pleasuring yourself is this dangerous, and it’s so pathetic how terrified they are of their own body. Whatever, let them be ashamed of their own bodies, but if this article is actually true, it’s really sad and stupid they are subjecting kids to their self loathing. Unless someone can provide a link that shows this is real, I’m thinking it’s satire based on the wording (the anti-masturbating dolphin loves being tickled? Yeah, I bet he does LOL).
ALL THE STUFF STATED ABOVE ABOUT MASTURBATION IS A FLAT OUT LIE!!! scientific fact and evidence showes not doing it is unhealty it does not lead to disease or rape and ITS HEALTHY FOR THE BODY!!! it reduces risk of prostate cancer as well
Surprised this wasn’t from The Onion…….