Satire: “CNN Quits Breaking News, Becomes ‘CNN Classic’”
by Andy Borowitz
CNN Classic will begin its broadcast day on Monday, Mr. Zucker said, “with round-the-clock coverage” of Operation Desert Storm. Mr. Zucker did not indicate what impact the new format would have on such CNN stars as Wolf Blitzer, saying only, “I can’t promise that Wolf will be a part of CNN’s future, but he will continue to be a big part of our past.” The CNN chief scoffed at reports that other cable news outlets had eclipsed his network once and for all, throwing down this gauntlet: “We are going to win May sweeps with Hurricane Katrina.”
2013-04-21 17:01:24
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