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You Have To Be Kidding Me

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“You Have To Be Kidding Me”
by Karl Denninger 
Florida country radio morning-show hosts Val St. John and Scott Fish are currently serving indefinite suspensions and possibly worse over a successful April Fools’ Day prank. They told their listeners that “dihydrogen monoxide” was coming out of the taps throughout the Fort Myers area. Dihydrogen monoxide is water.
The popular deejays are mainly in all this trouble (potentially of a felony level) because their listeners panicked so much — about the molecular makeup of their drinking water, however unwittingly — that Lee County utility officials had to issue a county-wide statement calming the fears of chemistry challenged Floridians.
What? A felony? For what? Telling people that what was coming out of their taps was, in fact, di-hydrogen monoxide? That’s what’s in your pipes, by the way. That is the chemical name for water- di (two) hydrogen mono (one) oxide (oxygen, and a compound with oxygen is called an oxide.) H2O. How can you face a criminal charge for calling something what it in fact is?
If the listeners are too stupid to understand basic chemistry and are “alarmed” that is not the DJs’ fault, nor his and her responsibility.
If the Florida DA wishes to assert that it is a felony to tell people that what is in fact coming out their faucet is coming out of their faucet then I will not-very-politely suggest that the DA’s office take all of its employees and prosecutors and stick their own heads in the toilet to below the level of the di-hydrogen monoxide that is present in the bowl, then reach up, grab the handle and flush repeatedly until all of the stupid contained in what passes for their cranium goes down the drain.
And while we’re at it, let’s compile a list of all the advertisers to this radio station and boycott them, driving both them and the station out of business since the management of the station is too stupid, or worse, idiotic, to stand up for two people who did nothing other than tell the truth about what was coming from their tap- April fools or not.”
As the great and wise Mogambo Guru would say, “We are so freakin’ doomed!”
- CP


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