Everybody on Earth is Going to Be Eaten by Sharks!

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Sharknado is Coming!

Well, maybe the sharks will just eat everybody in Los Angeles…but it really will happen if you watch the movie ‘Sharknado.’

Now, I rarely recommend TV movies. Or anything on TV. It’s just crap that thinks it’s important. And it ain’t.

Then, last week, Sharknado happened.

And the twitterverse was filled with awe. The facebook empire shuddered in glee. Celebrities were coming out of the woodwork to admit the latest guilty pleasure…Sharknado!

The basic premise of Sharknado is that massive winds suck water upon into tornadoes, and they include a few sharks along the way. Thus, the sharks are swirling in a cloud overhead, descending on unwary passersby whenever the audience is ready for a spectacular and gory gobbling.

Man, we humans is dropping like flies!

The odd thing, this movie has no real value, the dialogue sucks, the special effects are lame, it isn’t even raining in the middle of a tornado filled with water, and dozens of other things that should make this movie a loser, but…it works!

The darned thing is a hoot and a half! You eat popcorn, you watch the sharks ply their teeth on pedestrians, heroes, anything and everything that needs a good gobbling!

It reminds me of the old movies from the fifties, the ones where giant spiders weave webs and drag screaming people away, where vermin come together in army and defeat the screaming and puny humans, where giant rabbits turn into human eaters par excellence.

Further, it comes form a great lineage. Think a step above great modern classics like ‘Sharktopus,’ or ‘Mega Python vs. Gatoroid,’ or the never to be underestimated ‘Dinocroc vs. Supergator,’ then make it outlandish, and you will know where Sharknado is coming from.

It stars Ian Zeiring for those who miss their youth, Tara Reid, for a wholesome bite of cheesecake, and John Heard for…acting?

And it is on the sci fi channel this saturday.

So put aside your thoughts of intergalactic conspiracies, of Obama being in bed with the banksters/communists/Islamists/whatever…and pop up some popcorn, because Sharknado is coming!

And, if you think Sharknado is bad, you should try ‘The Day the President Killed the United States!’

Or, you could just go over to The Daily Neutron and really get your head filled.