Major League Dopers…Why Not a Separate League?

I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Major League Dopers!

Another day, another headline…Major League Baseball Star Tests Positive for Drugs!

We are speaking of the infamous A-rod here, though we can include such sports luminaries as Lance Armstrong, Barry Bonds, and on and on and…and Wikipedia has a list of doping cases that covers all sports, and is truly out the roof.

So why are these famous athletes on drugs?

Because they can make money: they can hit the long ball, throw the needle pass, swim faster, run faster, do less in bed.

Do less in bed? Yes. Because for Dopers the nuts shrivel to the size of an eleven year old pre-puberty boy. Heck, Lance lost a nut to cancer…is there any reason not to suspect his doping practices contributed to that incident?

Now, that said, this writer wants to know…why not?

Why not let the athletes play sports without drug testing?

Drug testing isn’t working, so why bother? After all, us spectators are there for a show, and we want to see the long ball, the needle pass, the faster swimmer…etc.

And for those who believe that it is unfair to people who don’t take drugs, let’s have two leagues! One of non-dopers, and the other of major league dopers.

Of course, prediction, it won’t be long till nobody is watching the non-dopers, and betting copious amounts of money on the drugged up ons.

Interestingly, the X football league was a good idea, the problem was that the athletes couldn’t trash talk the way Mr. McMahan wanted them to. If they had, the league would have replaced the boring old NFL.

Heck, Vince would have done without drug testing in a New York minute, and we would be treated to 500 yard line drives, passes through the eye of a hurricane, people who could swim faster than…than, well, a non doped up runner!

And, for any cryin’ mommas out there, the human race would eventually be better for it. After all, the major league dopers would be selecting themselves out of the gene pool!

This article on major league dopers brought to you courtesy of The Daily Neutron.

Have you read Pack, by Al Case? It is the ultimate story of what drugs can do to a society.