“I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message...”

Most Americans don’t know what our ‘enemies’ are up against…

U.S. Navy Marines are awesome creations. Awake, aware, quick and savvy, they are the Navy’s guardians, ground assault troops and seafaring army.

They also have the Naval Air Force, which is a natural rival to the US Air Force. This rivalry can go to extremes, USAF guys infiltrating Naval Air Stations (and vice versa) like the one in Gibraltar and, a long time ago, in Brunswick Maine, where the the largest cargo planes in the world were stashed, along with the Airborn Early Warning & Control (AEW&C) and the old P2V sub-chasers.

You make friends as a civilian with some Navy guys, get invited to a base party, sneak out at two or three in the morning and slap a couple of acid-etching USAF logos with the words, ‘Bang! You’re Dead!” onto a couple of P2Vs (the guards didn’t carry live rounds then), make sure you steal a Navy greatcoat and hat and when you walk out the gates, greet the Marine gate guards with a sharp salute and an authoritative, “Carry on, men!” (after all, you are leaving the base carrying nothing, not even a bicycle…)

So… The story below is the reason the writer of the story above did not want to get caught leaving the base…

“First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn’t expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason: my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head … isn’t it?!

 I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d come from with crap in your pants. I’m sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again.

 After I called your mother or “Momma” as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station on your credit card. 

The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and boy, was he grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. (That really made his day!)

 I then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was parked at the curb… after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning  President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number and all that stuff).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you … but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon and perhaps reconsider the career path you’ve chosen to pursue in life… Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours, Semper (You can call me’Al’) Fidelis…

(This is from an actual Craig’s List Post…)