The Emperor Of Plagues

American Thinker

By Clarice Feldman

Recently in a cave on a remote island in the Pacific anthropologists found this document sealed in a stone coffer. After months of hard work they translated it from an ancient tongue almost lost to history.

I, the official scribe of my people, write this with full authority of the ruling body for those of you who should come upon it in good time. It is the story of a long-ago Emperor about whom you ought to know.

The father of the Emperor was said to be a god from an ancient land across the sea who often imbibed too much mead and had many wives. Others whispered his real father was the pedophilic poet who lived on the other side of the island with his wife. These people said the Emperor’s mother made up the story about the father god. In any event, the Emperor never lived with either man. The man from across the sea sailed away soon after his birth. For a while the boy lived alone with his mother and then when she moved away to a faraway place and married (or remarried depending on which version of the legend you prefer) she was made goddess of the blacksmiths. She was busy with anvils and such and sent him here to live with her parents, the gold-counting grandmother and the good-time-teller-of-wild-tales grandfather. The boy who became emperor felt all alone but his grandparents and the poet told him he was brilliant and meant for great things. And he believed them.

The Emperor’s education was also remarkably strange. True, he was sent to the island’s most expensive lyceum, but his free time was mostly spent with his grandfather and the island lowlifes. He smoked a lot of choom, the weed of strange dreams, and was educated to despise order and thrift, diligence and competence. Natural-born genius leaders of men have no need of such characteristics. His teachers and friends and family led him to believe that the people of his island were responsible for all the ills of the world, that want and disease were caused by the islanders’ greed. They called this greed “imperialism” and “white privilege”. As the islanders had been called upon regularly by the outside world and expended vast amounts of their best lives and treasure — treasure earned by hard work and accumulated by means of an ordered society — to render aid to others with no reward to themselves, the charge seemed bizarre. But they believed it and so did their star pupil who lacked the wit to discern cant from truth.

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