Is this a Joke? Startup Invents Water Bottle That Tells you When to Drink

In case you haven’t noticed, wearable gadgets such as the Apple Watch are the latest tech craze sweeping the developed world. As if it wasn’t enough to carry a smartphone with you everywhere you go, now you must have the convenience of reading your texts on your wrist, instead of physically checking your phone. Surely, spending over $500 on a watch will offset the precious seconds you’ll be saving every day.

In fact, that example perfectly summarizes our tech obsessed culture. We spend money we don’t have on gadgets that give a convenience we don’t need, and we’ll do it all over again next year when our devices are obsolete. And the tech industry loves cranking out gadgets and apps that take the thinking out of life. They want to create a world where all of your appliances are connected to the internet, tracking your health and habits, and telling you what you need to do.

But do we really need our watches to count our calories and remind us to exercise? Do we need our fridge to tell us when to eat, and what to order for lunch? Will this new age of technology fulfill our lives, or will spend our remaining days working in jobs we hate, to pay for gadgets that tell us what to do when we’re not working?

If people decide that this is what they want for the future, then someday the human race will be unrecognizable to us. We’ll all be shambling around, completely absorbed in the blue glow of our screens, too blind to see the world around us. We’ll raise our kids to do the same as well. Instead of interacting with our children, we’ll just hand them an iPad and get back to pissing our money away on freemium games.

If you don’t think this is the trend, I implore to take another look at the world you live in, and try to imagine what it was like 10 years ago. In 2005, would you have ever guessed that in the future, somebody would create a device that tells you when to drink water? I’m not kidding about that. Somebody actually made a water bottle that measures the temperature, and tells you when to hydrate. So far they’ve raised roughly $100,000 on Kickstarter to bring their project to fruition, so apparently there’s a market for this. Presumably, these people will all drop dead this summer if their electronic water bottle isn’t manufactured in time.

“There’s a sensor that tracks how much water you drink, so you don’t have to think about it.”

“SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!”

Dear God, and you people quit your jobs to make this thing?

You say it’s like having a “natural extension” of yourself? I thought there was already a natural tool for telling you when to drink. What is that? Oh ya, it’s called thirst, and it’s been keeping everything on this planet alive for millions of years.

Thirst, the most basic of human functions, now apparently needs to be supplemented with a computer. This is madness right? Surely, no sane person needs to be told when to satisfy their survival urges?

Oh Nevermind.

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Contributed by Joshua Krause of The Daily Sheeple.

Joshua Krause is a reporter, writer and researcher at The Daily Sheeple. He was born and raised in the Bay Area and is a freelance writer and author. You can follow Joshua’s reports at Facebook or on his personal Twitter. Joshua’s website is Strange Danger .