Exposed! Donald Trump's Mistress? Her name is...

Bobby Jindal released a scathing video recently slamming the Donald as a narcissist who’s only concern is for himself and who’s only selling point is his self-ascribed greatness. But when I listen to Donald Trump that is not what I hear. I know many of you may not agree and that’s ok. Just hear me out.

Donald Trump has a mistress. This mistress is impossible to compete with. She is young and beautiful. Trump fell in love with her at an early age. She has given him everything he has and without her he would be nothing. He is totally and completely devoted to her.

She is elegant and fragile. And for too long she has been increasingly abused and neglected by her caretakers as Donald looked on in shock and horror. Trump doesn’t just love this mistress as the common man loves her. He adores her. He’s in love with her.

Now that this mistress’ caretakers have turned on her and she no longer has a protector, she recently pulled out her proverbial rape whistle and Donald, her lover, is attempting to rescue her from her captors who have allowed strangers to assault her and take her captive, stripping her of her clothes and dragging her out into the street bleeding and mourning her former glory.

Donald Trump isn’t running for President. Donald Trump is running a rescue mission to pull the rapists off of his mistress so that he may dust her off, clean her up, and put her clothes back on.

And this is what separates him from the rest of the pack, those who simply see the oval office as the next step in their political careers. Trump is dropping his own plans in order to leap to the rescue of the love of his life. Her name? America!

So to those of you candidates who think Donald Trump is a stage-drunk, self-absorbed narcissist with an out of control ego I urge you to take a deep breath and truly examine your own intentions. Why are YOU running for President? Is it because you think it’s a family tradition? Is it because it’s the next rung on the political career ladder? Is it because you have the financial backing of powerful elites who “believe in you?” When I listen to you I do not hear love. I hear lust… for power… over her.

Here’s a wakeup call… Americans are fed up with politics as usual. There is a powerful majority out there who really, truly want Donald Trump to rush in and rescue his mistress and show the rest of the world that she is still alive and that she, America, can be great once again.

This is an amazing love story the ending of which is still yet unwritten. How will it end? Will Donald Trump succeed in rescuing his mistress? Or will the posers succeed in tripping him up and watch him fall on his face in the most tragic conclusion since Romeo and Juliet?

This is what I hear when I watch Donald Trump. You may not agree and that’s ok. What do I care? I live in Canada. And like many others around the world who are watching, longing for the good guy to win and for the hero to ride in and resue the damsel in distress, we are on the edge of our theatre seats, biting our nails, yelling at the stage, “FOR GOD’S SAKE, LET HIM THROUGH! “