The Hippocritical Oath

by Joe Dubs

I’ve rewritten the Hippocratic Oath to better reflect the actions of hypocritical allopathic physicians.  Doctors swear to uphold this oath yet break it in their practice daily.  They promise to “first, do no harm”, yet their medicine and methods are anything but harmless.

Primum non nocere “First do no harm”

In 2000, an article was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) that shows conclusively that iatrogenesis, or death by medicine, is at least the 3rd leading cause of death in the US, just behind cancer and heart disease.  The numbers presented in the paper are very conservative and still show that at least 780,000 people die every year due to medical intervention.

At least 100,000 people die in hospitals every year from properly prescribed, properly administered pharmaceutical drugs.  These conservative estimates are from 15 years ago, so we can rest assured , or unassured, that these figures are much higher today.

 “Also I will, according to my ability and judgment, prescribe a regimen for the health of the sick; but I will utterly reject harm and mischief”

Epic Fail!  Doctors of today do nothing of the sort!    But for now… Let’s have some pun!  Put on your satirical glasses and let’s delve deep into the hypocritical Hippocratic Oath of these dark times..  The following more accurately depicts the philosophy of modern day drug-pushers (allopathic doctors and physicians).

The Hippocritical Oath

I swear by Apollo Physician and Asclepius and Hygieia and Panaceia and all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my ability and judgment this oath and this covenant.  I have signed the covenant and have taken an oath according to the Merck & Pfizer law, and beholden to no one else.

I will ignore dietetic measures for the detriment of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will treat the symptoms with drugs and surgery and ignore diet and exercise.  I shall pay lip service to the importance of nutrition and lifestyle choices.  I shall be Glaxo-Smith-Inclined to over prescribe carcinogenic treatments and useless surgeries.

I will give a deadly drug to anybody who asked for it, and will I make a suggestion to this effect. In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art of materialism and reductionistic dogma.

[More…]

Philosophers stone – selected views from the boat http://philosophers-stone.co.uk