Kasich delusional; Rubio not in God’s plan

Kasich delusional; Rubio not in God’s plan

By Jon Rappoport

Is America a nation of clueless children? Don’t answer that.

John Kasich, after winning his home state of Ohio in the Republican Primary last night, thus amassing enough delegates to hope and pray for a job as dogcatcher, told his cheering supporters, “We’re going to go all the way to Cleveland and secure the nomination.”

I expected his wife to turn to him and say, “Easy, sailor, the night is still young. Lay off the sauce until we have some supper.”

Kasich sprinkled in a few references to God. Naturally. Only He could reverse a snowball’s chance in Hell.

Marco Rubio tanked in Florida and dropped out of the race. His exit line? The Presidency isn’t in God’s plan for me.

Really, Marco. Is that your excuse? You did everything right, but God, a few weeks ago, or 5 billion years ago, decided 2016 wasn’t going to be your year?

What is it with American politicians and God? They’re in the sleaziest profession in the world and they’re devout?

Of course, in certain swaths of the country, God sells. He sells big. And that’s what these pols are doing. Selling. Sometimes they even buy their own pitch lines. After a while, they can’t tell the difference between votes and blessings from above. It all blurs.

Ted Cruz is shot out of that gun at a thousand miles a minute. He’s ripping down the gates to the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored. He’s saving the nation from doom. He’s doing Destiny like a high school football coach. When he goes belly up, it’s going to be a demented moment. “I lost so the nation could win. Jesus told me it works that way. It’s a form of martyrdom.”

The “purveyor of God’s Word” is as old as the hills. Apparently, people can’t figure the Word out for themselves, if they want to. They have to look for an intermediary, who takes full advantage of the position he’s made for himself.

Marco Rubio is obviously depressed. But why? He knows, somehow, that he wasn’t in God’s Plan. Therefore, he should be happy. The Plan is working out. What’s more important, the end of his campaign or God’s Will? Come on, Marco, get your priorities straight. How does your defeat measure up against the unfolding of the Universe?

Why aren’t devout believers angry at these pols, who are selling cheap knockoff versions of the Original Product?

“I’ve got God for only $39.95. In fact, vote for me and I’ll send you two for the price of one. Just pay for shipping and handling.”

Turns out the shipping and handling is an exchange for the commitment of your soul.

“Well, we didn’t win the election, but I came out of the experience with a whole new understanding of religion. Jesus is back. He wears a retro powder-blue leisure suit and shows up at Texas barbecues and He wants us to bomb lots of countries and sign all the trade treaties. It was a revelation for me…”

Filed under: Uncategorized Jon Rappoport has worked as a free-lance investigative reporter for over 30 years. http://nomorefakenews.com/