North Korea To Nuke Nibiru
An anonymous source with close ties to North Korea’s secretive government revealed today that Kim Jong-un’s lofty ambitions include more than than just irritating western powers with blusterous bravado and threats of war. Kim Jong-un, according to our source, learned about Nibiru several years ago. Since then, he has become obsessed not only with solving the Nibiru equation but also with finding a means to save his people from the dark star and its seven orbiting planets–which Nibiru enthusiasts fear will ravage planet Earth sometime in 2017. That desire cemented Kim Jong-un’s resolve to accelerate his country’s nuclear weapons program; thunderous threats to the contrary, Kim Jong-un has no desire to provoke the west or launch a devastating nuclear strike against the United States. That is all a well-crafted smokescreen concealing the primary reason North Korea opted to enter the nuclear arena: It wants to nuke Nibiru.
“Despite having a fledgling space program of its own,” our source said, “North Korea is ill equipped to locate Nibiru. In fact, Kim Jong-un didn’t even know about Nibiru until his agents learned about it through the internet. It’s really quite funny, in a tragic way.”
His agents had not hacked an impenetrable pentagon computer. They did not clandestinely siphon the information from 10 Downing Street. Nor did they steal information from the very walls of the Kremlin. It seems that all of Kim Jong-un’s original information was obtained via a publicly accessible, popular internet conspiracy forum known as godlikeproductons.com.
Digging deeper, our source discovered that the paranoid dictator maintained a team of twenty cyber agents, who prowled internet forums in hopes of ferreting out rumors that might belittle or shame Kim Jong-un, and tried to squash posts and threads assassinating his good character.
“When they started seeing posts about Nibiru they became concerned, very concerned. And they promptly collected all posts about Nibiru and delivered them directly to Kim Jong-un. Based on the sheer number of posts, he became convinced Nibiru is real and began devising a plan to save his people from certain doom. But that is not his only reason,” our source said. “Kim Jong-un is tired of being shamed and outmanoueverd by the United States. He wants the limelight. He wants to save the the world from Nibiru before Obama, our Putin, or whoever else does. He wants the glory.”
Believing that the United States and Russia were close to solving the Nibiru Problem, Kim Jong-un sought help from his scientific advisers at the Korean Committee of Space Technology, that country’s space program. He tasked them with finding a solution before the United States or Russia could beat him to the finish line. When his technical team failed to find a timely solution, Kim Jong-un decided that a massive nuclear strike against the Nibiru system might alter its orbit just enough to save the Earth.
“He convinced himself of it,” our source said. “He sold himself on the nuclear option, and this deepening madness drove him to accelerate his country’s nuclear ambitions. When Nibiru gets close, he plans to launch a barrage of nuclear missiles at Nibiru. How close is that? No one knows but him. But there is a bigger problem.”
Washington and Moscow have discovered Kim Jong-un’s enterprising yet foolhardy plan to save the Earth and urged him to not act against Nibiru. Washington, our source revealed, threatened a retaliatory strike if satellites detected any launch warnings from the Korean Peninsula, even if telemetry data indicated the weapons were aimed at deep space.
A Washington insider speaking under conditions of anonymity provided a likely motive for Washington’s threat. “North Korea’s nuclear weapons program is largely untested and has already been deemed a failed effort by most nuclear capable nations. Its weapons explode on launch pads or fail to detonate. Instead of applauding this failure, other nations are now deeply troubled. They fear that if North Korea launches against Nibiru, the weapon might simply topple out of the sky and strike Japan. Washington, obviously, cannot allow this to happen.”
A sense of nervousness currently looms over Pyongyang for an entirely different reason. According to usually reliable sources, twenty-six of North Korea’s brightest minds, scientists and academics, formed a committee to convince Kim Jong-un that Nibiru is nothing more than an elaborate hoax designed to illicit fear from paranoid and frightened people. The entire delegation was taken outside and executed by a firing squad for treason and refuting irrefutable evidence on Nibiru’s existence. The dead include some of North Korea’s most noteworthy scholars: Lei Ying Kim, Tai Ni Kim, Nah Pah Lei, Kum Hiau Lei, and many others.
Source: http://www.someonesbones.com/blog/north-korea-to-nuke-nibiru/
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this could happen, it is from the bible, revalations 8
ALERT CHRIS KITZE
MANDATORY DRUG AND ALCOHOL TESTING FOR ALL AUTHORS SHOULD BE REQUIRED BEFORE EACH POST..
Indeed. If you’re not on a mind-altering substance, don’t bother to post here!
See all stories contributed by paid binner troll………..Zero
Well at least the OP is not blaming Russia and Mr Putin for it.
If they could get one to not fall out of the sky in the first place, crazy kim ain’t gona nuke anything let alone the imaginary planet.
Sounds like a Russian urban legend.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
This, from the puny little Communist midget who’s military can’t seem to launch a rocket form more than a mile or two before something always goes ‘horribly wrong’?!?!?! [snicker, snicker, snort.....]
You shouldn’t judge a man by the size of his Rocket
Buzz Lightyear taught me that
I just reposted the article here… doesn’t mean that I agree with it all.
Yeah but for real, if crazy kim could set off a bottle rocket without a mistake I MIGHT take him with a bit less salt (grain wasn’t enough, he is at dump truck status, nearing rail car)
I think any attempt to use primitive nuclear weapons on an advanced civilisation that has reached its karmic destiny – would result in a chain reaction of nuclear events on earth that will leave us resembling a glowing mushroom…..
You Zawbe must have failed the 3nd grade. How did you make it this far???
And you?
How did you make it?
Since the letter “r” is a ways from the letter “n” on the keyboard, a typo is out of the question….basically rendering you a moron who probably couldn’t get out of kindergarten AND a d-bag for thinking you’re a smart-ass.
Let me help you:
1st
2nd
3RD
4th…………………
The mistake was the 2 and the 3 you moron. What does d-bag mean anyways? Dime bag? Doggie bag? As for the previous question, I actually graduated, you nutball. Who’s the moron now? Listen loser, this guy has been following me around wherever I go and Zabwe started this, not me. Fact loser….Fact.
Following you – we will see i will post my comments and you post your drivel that is symptomatic of a troll stuck in his own slimy track of drivel…… …
BTW We all know you guys are teenagers who are too lazy to work. Bet you can’t get laid either. One day you jack offs will learn respect. My only hope is that the U.S. loses electricity so I can see you two on the news either committing suicide or stealing from somebody. Either way you’ll be gone and the rest of us can enjoy a world free of smart a$$ed kids like yourselves. FY(I)
You are so far up your own ass the lights have been off for years and you also smell kind of peculiar…..
Zabwe said… “primitive nuclear weapons”….Nuclear weapons are not primitive, that would be sticks and stones….Zabwe said “civilisation”…Civilisation is correctly spelled civilization, but the “s” is acceptable because you public school attendees are dumber than dirt…. Zabwe said.”-would result in a chain reaction of nuclear events on earth”….Where else exactly would this take place, and use the actual name of it. Zabwe said “-would result in a chain reaction of nuclear events on earth that will leave us resembling a glowing mushroom” …..It wouldn’t resemble a mushroom moron, there would BE actual ( capitalized for emphasis) mushroom clouds. Man, you are the perfect example( that means poster child) of why public schools must be shut down…That is all until you put that foot of yours in your mouth…..again.
civilization |ˌsɪvɪlʌɪˈzeɪʃ(ə)n| (also civilisation)
Nuclear energy has got to be he same age of the universe…….and that is quite old……are you sulking jewess-ss boy…..Did you like our online analysis of yurrr behaviour that you onnn exhibit here….i will post it again for your perusal……PS – his is my trollll killling ketborad – someimes it misses a leer – someimes it types two – on the odd occasion i my repeat a leer thrrrre imes…..it wil surely infuriate the rolls and spellling gestapooo on BIN………..lololololol9ol777(*_^) do you want o ply…..
Just for laughs – who said you could not get anything out of a jew for free…
I am thick skinned jew boy – hollow words hold no offence to me…… – short attention span – expect a letter from the editor – but here is the contrast dysfunctional….Stick with it if you can….Your pineal gland is calcified it means you are not processing information……
They say the human brain can store over 20,000,000 volumes of information – for comparison, the 19 million volumes in the US Library of Congress represents about 10 terabytes of data…….It is impossible to read 20,000,000 volumes of information in a lifetime – so there must be a technique to harness or channel knowledge into the empty expanses of the human brain…….Also consider that by the time the brain has downloaded all this information it will then have evolved or devised a storage method to compress all that information into a single neurone – one of a 100 billion neurones…….Mind boggling……
So consider the following information……..
The average human brain has about 100 billion neurones (or nerve cells) and many more neuroglia (or glial cells) which serve to support and protect the neurones. Each neurone may be connected to up to 10,000 other neurones, passing signals to each other via as many as 1,000 trillion synaptic connections, equivalent by some estimates to a computer with a 1 trillion bit per second processor. Estimates of the human brain’s memory capacity vary wildly from 1 to 1,000 terabytes (for comparison, the 19 million volumes in the US Library of Congress represents about 10 terabytes of data)…..
So here are those eagerly awaited and anticipated results of your personal online 4ck’n analysis – Due to the high level of calcification to your pineal gland you are benchmarking roughly about the same processing power that a broken I-phone 1 would exhibit if it were subjected to the same stress test…….
Be sure to Keep these results confidential – if the other binner trolls were to find out you will never live it down……….Have a nice day…..
Are you sure you can control those urges and trust yourself with regard to being in close proxiimy to children……..
Good! I knew there must be a reason we’ve kept him around.
That fool can’t even hit South Korea, so I doubt if Nibiru has anything to worry about.
Kool
So if Kim Jong Chubby Boy takes out Nibiru he becomes Bruce Willis, the saviour of Earth and Humanity ?
Wouldn’t that be Awesome
Well I mean they say he can talk to dolphins right? Maybe he has a magic nuke that seeks out imaginary planets?
Do I provide good entertainment or what?
Always! Some of the best!
Does your hat come with bells on……..
A democracy will return all the land and wealth these thieves have stolen…….that is why they would sooner destroy it all than give it over to a democratically elected senate…….Maybe Kim will be fall guy and catalyst for the looming US nuclear holocaust…..
LOL this should be on the Onion
So, yeah, on the hypothesis that there is massive planet in the vicinity, you’re gonna need a lot of nukes to do something about it…
the entire fissile matter on this planet would probably the equivalent to a fly’s fart on the a star or planet this size.
Second (still base on the hypothesis that there is a huge planet coming for us and that we can blow it up, just for the fun)… Is it a good idea to blow it up knowing that it would probably bombard earth for likes centuries with massive asteroids ?
I think, Big Kim has more chances sending his slave force to mine it entirely then sending a nuke.
the human mind is limitless, it really is. There is probably a far far away alternate reality where big kim saves the day, but we are not living in it.
great entertainment though, the human is mind is limitless, it’s like counting the infinite decimals between 0 and 1.
Maybe we just leave it to BIN’s JEsSUS to perform that miracles since according to the enlightening website compiling all his quotes, HE CAN make miracles happen.
The maybe, just maybe, he could (almost) gain more respect
… WE COULD…. BIN’s JESUS – you know that creepy frenchie…