TradCatKnight: The Sexual Revolution’s Unhappy Result: Self-Marriage

 

 

 

 

 

With everyone marrying anyone, it would seem only a matter of time before someone would end up marrying no one. Leave it to the postmodern imagination to open up absurd frontiers in non-marriage. Marrying no one is now an option.

 

Officially, it is called sologamy. It consists of a person marrying one’s self. It sounds bizarre, but the fact is that these same-self “marriages” are now happening, although not on a mass scale. People—mostly women at this phase—are holding public ceremonies in which they say “I do” to themselves, and celebrate, complete with ring, wedding dress, cake and reception. Predictably, trendy writers, artists and life coaches, who already live in an unreal world, are the ones not tying the knot.

Marketers have even latched on to the trend. There is an “I Married Me Self-Wedding-In-A-Box” kit that can supply lonely self-spouses with ceremony instructions, sample vow formulas, fake certificates and other materials. It is to be supposed that the photography would be taken care of with selfies. As for the legality of the act, there is nothing to “legalize” since this ultimate private fantasy only exists in the imagination of the one-ple (not couple).

A Logical Consequence
As crazy as sologamy sounds, there is something terribly consistent and logical about its appearance on the “define-your-own-marriage” scene. It is a fitting metaphor to represent the failure of the promises of the Sexual Revolution to make people happy. It is a lonely indication of just how extreme individualism can go when given free reign.

Indeed, once one ventures outside the bonds of a traditional indissoluble marriage as defined by the Church, every other bonding has something of sologamy since self-gratifying unions eventually become narcissistic.

The Autonomous Being
The solitary march down the aisle toward sologamy is part of a long process toward moral chaos inside liberal society. It is the fruit of modern individualism, which declares each person is an entirely autonomous being. Individuals are told that they are the sole architects of their freedom and destiny. Their principal purpose in life is to engage in an inebriating pursuit of self-interest.

This myth dominated American society until the sixties and still lingers on in other forms today. There seemed to be no limits to what one could achieve alone.

The Need for Social Institutions
In the beginning, modern individualism worked around the complications of human nature that are contrary to its basic premises. It had to deal, for example, with the reality that no one is an entirely autonomous being.

In fact, all individuals are social beings that need other people. People naturally crave society. They tend toward God, their creator. There are certain social bonds and institutions (like marriage) that form and shape the individual and anchor the person to reality. People need those strong ties to religion, tradition, family, custom, or moral law so as to keep society in balance and provide the social capital that makes a nation prosperous.

Modern individualism never fully acknowledged such realities, but rather lived off the rich social institutions from which it sought freedom. It was much more these institutions that helped individuals achieve greatness than the sheer power of the individualist will. America had just enough social capital before the sixties to build a vibrant economy and sturdy social fabric.

A Constant Tension
However, there was ongoing tension between the liberal myth of individualism with no limitations and the traditional model with its natural restraining social institutions. In theory, Americans preached the desirability of pure individualism without restrictions. In practice, they clung to the family, church, and other social structures that gave their lives meaning.

Regarding marriage, the American ideal before the sixties was traditional marriage since it contributed substantially to the desired prosperity. At the same time, the pre-sixites culture already started eroding the foundations of marriage with the gradual promotion of divorce, promiscuity and contraception.