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13 Reasons Why Old Souls Struggle to Find Love

Wednesday, February 15, 2017 5:23
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(Before It's News)

by Mateo Sol; lonerwolf

 

I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it – to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once. — Haruki Murakami, (Norwegian Wood)

One of the greatest problems that Old Souls ever face in this life, is finding love.

What sets Old Souls apart from others is their deeper level of maturity or wisdom, and with this wisdom comes the need to live and love authentically.

But as you’ve probably already discovered, the problem with most relationships is that they’re established to avoid loneliness, create comfort or security, or gain some sense of self-worth.

In other words, many relationships are based on playing ego-centered “games,” just like the ones we see on TV and in films. People thrive on the drama. People believe that they “need” another person to fill an empty hole inside of them. But something within you thirsts for a deeper level of love beyond the melodrama and lust.
The truth is, you yearn deep down for that which you’ve never (or rarely) experienced before: a relationship that is intense but healthy, devoted but free, supportive but not smothering.

You crave for honesty, authenticity, passion, empathy, true love, sincerity, and depth. You want to be seen, heard, understood, valued, and loved for who you are. And you want to express the same towards someone else.

My first relationship happened in my early twenties, with Luna. Up until that point in my life, I didn’t feel that any person matched my intensity of love, even after traveling through countless countries and meeting hundreds of people.

Over the years working with many Old Souls I’ve come to realize that many others experience this exact same problem: the inability to find, or form, a truly fulfilling relationship.

Here are some of the main reasons why finding love as an Old Soul is so difficult:

1) We want love that is authentic

We want to be in a relationship that encourages and celebrates mutual authenticity. We don’t want to hide, pretend, suppress or change who we are in any way. We don’t want to find someone that doesn’t mind “putting up” with us, but rather, encourages us to “put forth” our truest and most authentic selves to be completely embraced.

2) We want love that teaches us

Instead of criticizing or rejecting us, we crave for someone who will point out where we’re going wrong, or ways that we need grow. Deep down, we realize that we will always have more to learn (Socrates once said “True wisdom is knowing that you know nothing”). It can be argued that all love affairs teach us, but they usually teach us unconsciously as a byproduct of suffering. Conscious teaching, on the other hand, is rare, precious and hard to find.

3) We’re healers but we don’t want to “fix” anyone

Due to our nature, we tend to attract people who are looking for help. But while our natural response is to offer help, we realize that entering a relationship in order to “fix” the other person is unwise. We don’t want to be the 24/7 doctors or counselors of our partners; we want to find someone who is in a similar place to us.

4) We have complex personalities

We think a lot, see deeply into the nature of reality and have intense personalities. It’s hard to find a person who can understand or match our complex identities. Having depth and seeking truth in a society that values materialistic status, objects, and superficial appearance can intimidate most people from getting to know us.

5) We want love that is beyond “liking”

We want fierce, uncompromising, genuine, deep love. In today’s world, most people throw around the word “love” as if it were synonymous with “like,” such as, “I love this ice cream/this pair of shoes.”

“Like” has no commitment. One day you like one flavor, the next day you like another.

Love is different. While liking is superficial, love is penetrating. While “liking” something is admiring its exterior form (and letting everyone know what that says about you), love is seeing past the exterior form and adoring the Soul.

6) We want love that is vulnerable

Being compatible at a personality level is simply not enough. True love is not liking someone or sharing their same interests, but instead is willingly opening up one’s heart and Soul — even if it hurts.

It is through the willingness to be vulnerable that wounds open, are given air, and heal. It is through vulnerability that we experience courage and the ability to love unconditionally.

7) We want commitment and effort

Love constantly needs to be nurtured, like the embers of a burning fire. Words are empty when they aren’t followed by action. As Old Souls, we know that real love can only be shown through shared experiences, effort, and dedication.

8) We want love rooted in wholeness

The moment your happiness depends on another person, you lose your freedom to love out of choice. We want a partner who is happy and whole by themselves so that we can share that wholeness with them. When people enter a relationship out of a sense of “neediness” because they feel incomplete or fear being lonely, the relationship is doomed. As Old Souls, we realize that healthy relationships are rooted in inner happiness.

9) We won’t settle for anything less than Soulmate love

Old Souls find it difficult to settle for comfort, lust, superficial attraction, security, or “keeping each other company.” We need someone who will share our values and be a true spiritual companion. We thirst for Soulmate and Twin Flame love.

10) We don’t enjoy the “Dating Game”

The drama, the addiction, the stimulation, the rules of what “should and shouldn’t” happen … it’s this egocentric approach towards love that Old Souls find so unappealing. This adds to the ever-increasing difficulty of finding love.

11) We come with wounds

Many Old Souls become the way they are through difficult and traumatic life circumstances which force the growth of inner maturity. When it comes to love, it’s vital that we find someone who is mature enough to deal with the “baggage” we often carry. But this can be hard to find in others.

12) We want more than just sex

Lust, seduction, and sex are alluring but ultimately momentary and shallow if obsessed over. While we love sex, we want more than just one night stands. We want to share our bodies with those that fall in love with our Souls first, rather than just our physical forms.

13) We’re Free Spirits

The reason why falling in love is so beautiful is because it expands us: it unites us with our innate freedom. The moment control is asserted over such a transcendent experience, we put love in a cage. And every time we look at that cage, we feel guilty in remembering how free that bird once was.

Deep down, Old Souls know how vital it is to encourage freedom in relationships. But it’s hard to find a person who is willing to fly free as well. Freedom requires courage and the ability to love another despite what they say, want or do.

The first present I gave Luna was a ring, with the inscription: “Alis volat propriis” (She flies with her own wings).

About Mateo Sol

Mateo Sol is a prominent psychospiritual teacher whose work has influenced the lives of thousands of people worldwide. Born into a family with a history of drug addiction, schizophrenia, and mental illness, Mateo Sol was taught about the plight of the human condition from a young age. However, at the age of 18, Sol experienced a spiritual awakening which aroused in him the desire to help others. After reconnecting with his ancient Peruvian roots and being initiated into their ancestral wisdom, Sol began teaching the way of soulwork. As a shaman, soulwork therapist and spiritual guide, Sol’s mission is to help others experience freedom, wholeness, and peace in any stage of life. Read More

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Total 7 comments
  • Equalizer

    “Know thyself”…Mystery solved.

  • Spikey Norman

    Good article !

  • goastdale

    The thief-baptism-grace& the name-Lord & LT

    “whosoever shall call on THE NAME OF THE LORD shall be saved”.…….So WHAT “NAME” did you “CALL UPON”?……
    Rev 19:13. .. and HIS NAME IS called THE WORD OF GOD
    Ps 138:2. praise THY NAME … for thou hast magnified THY WORD ABOVE ALL THY NAME
    Isaiah 52:1. . 6. Therefore MY PEOPLE SHALL KNOW MY NAME: ..What NAME do you “KNOW”.?
    1Jn 2:3. And HEREBY WE DO KNOW that we KNOW HIM, if we KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS./
    Titus 1: 16. They profess that THEY KNOW God; but IN WORKS THEY DENY him…
    Rev 3:8 kept MY WORD, and hast not DENIED MY NAME; …
    .Jn 17:6. I have MANIFESTED THY NAME .& they have KEPT THY WORD.;
    THE WORD is THE NAME above every name that saves us 1Pt 3:21

    - If God placed His “THE WORD” ABOVE all of God’s various NAMEs – and Jesus NAME IS called “THE WORD” no other name saves Then it must follow that the MOST important name we should KNOW and CALL UPON is “THE WORD”; . Not the letters that spell the word but the sayings/ doctrine/commands. It does NOT say “thy word is given a name above other names because here THY WORD is identified as the name that is placed above all other names. “AT the name OF JESUS”…..Jesus has a name that belongs to Jesus…just like the name OF GOD means a name that belongs to GOD but it is ridiculous to suggest that the letters G-O-D is that name…likewise it is just as ridiculous to suggest that the name OF JESUS is the letters J-E-S-U-S. Why would anyone think that you could pronounce THE HIGHEST NAME OF GOD letter by letter…. (ie Judges 13:18; 2Cor 12:4 but God’s name is not as great and or “unspeakable )

    Download the full doc
    https://www.academia.edu/23846490/Thief_and_Cross_3D
    https://www.scribd.com/document/326686356/Thief-Cross-3D

    https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/thief-baptism-grace-name-lord-allen-daves?trk=mp-reader-card

    Also there is this…..I’m not Roman Catholic by any stretch but give credit where credit is due, this guy did do his homework on this issue and his presentation is kinda slow at first but very methodical and sound ..Basically it is an examination of the Reformed theologies (John MacArthur, James White, John Piper, R.C. Sproul, Michael Kruger, Steven Anderson, Charles Stanley et al) uses of Justification (and Forensic Justification) (Regeneration v Justification)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L14UNjaZJm8

    ……..The ONE baptism(Eph 4:5) is into THE WORD ( which is also baptism in the Holy spirit Jn 6:63the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit ) ..ALL the sayings doctrines and commands….what did THE WORD that became flesh command? (Mat 28:19)…..what did THE WORD exemplify? (Mat 3:15/ Jn 4:1)………among other things…..YES .water baptism is just as essential and necessary for much a part of salvation (1Pt 3:21) as is keeping one self away from works of the flesh (Gal 5:21)…….THE WORD OF GOD is the name of God that men call upon OR…OR ..they DENY with their disobedience

    NOTE: don’t be that one in prov 26:12 over my use of the word “fool” here prov 18:13 (https://www.scribd.com/presentation/322007258/Fools ).. FOOLS! .Jn 6:63(words= spirit= life) If you believe that God literally put his spirit into human flesh to die and save man …..then you had better believe that God literally (JN 6:54-66) puts his spirit into the human bread and wine which literally makes them his body and blood (the vessels of life) otherwise you have NO LIFE in you and should expect to be among those that hear “I NEVER KNEW YOU”(Mat 26:26-29) you have never eaten his body or drank his blood you only ate a symbol of it and as such your salvation is only symbolic NOT real!!
    http://www.scribd.com/user/249756770/Allen-Daves

    independent.academia.edu/AllenDaves

    Hypocrites you say you believe that the spirit of God is in your physical bodies but turn right around and deny that the spirit of God is in the bread and wine because it is only physical bread and wine..so too is your physical bodies!?! The Church is the literal body of Christ because the literal spirit of Christ rest in it as such is the litteral body of Christ …….. A body is simply a vessel of life/spirit ..God puts his spirit where and how He chooses to do so and as such defines for us what his body is…. http://www.scribd.com/user/249756770/Allen-Daves

    independent.academia.edu/AllenDaves

    No the bread the wine did not get broken on the cross but NEITHER DID THE CHURCH…His human flesh and the church and the bread and wine are all his body because HE defined them that way LITERALLY put the spirit of Christ the spirit of life in them NOT because you define for God ..But since they are all HIS BODY and some of his body was nailed to a cross then HIS BODY was broken…..every part of of Christ human flesh did not get a nail run through to a wooden cross either…so that mean that his chest was not part of the body that was nailed to the cross for you and me?!?

    If you have no problem understanding that physical act/element of water baptism literally puts you into the spirit of Christ at baptism why then deny that the physical elements of the LT put the spirit of Christ in you!?!…. THE ISSUE In Jn 6 IS NOT THE DEFINITION OF THE LT BUT RATHER THE DEFINITION OF THE LORDS BODY!!!…… 1 cor 11:29. For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body…two points: (1) worthy is defined as discerning the Lord’s body/ understanding/ knowing what the Lord’s body is the fact that the bread and wine are his body and blood…. (2) Those that deny the LT is in Fact the Lord’s body that you are eating and drinking and not just some symbol are literal “GOD DAMNED FOOLS”! That is not a curse upon you nor is it a wish for anyone it is simply a statement of fact about your condition…better wake up least your “piety” make you that one in prov 26:12

  • You People Are Nuts

    how about you’re too selfish?

  • MyTwoCents

    Love isn’t about how others love you. It’s about how you love God and others. When you get that right you’ll be satisfied.

  • Martus

    Call on the old souls and they will come and inhabit you, demons are waiting for morons to let them in so that they can corrupt them and turn them away from God.

  • Vril-ya

    Hi, you are not an Old Soul – you sound like a Mature Soul https://youtu.be/sEHUMvO9RvA?list=PL922005CA53448124

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