Trudeau makes surprise visit to Kyiv to blow more smoke up Zelensky's ass

PM Fluffy made a surprise visit to Ukraine to mark the second anniversary of Russia’s full-scale, brutal, unprovoked, barbaric, and full-scale invasion of Ukraine. Did we mention it was a full-scale invasion? As we all know, Putin grew increasingly deranged at the prospect of seeing a thriving liberal democracy flowering next door. He knew once his long-suffering people noticed the pluralist paradise flourishing in the former Soviet satellite state, his days would be numbered. The Russian people would rise up and demand human rights and Pride parades just like they have in Ukraine. Luckily for the Democratic World, the plucky Ukrainians have been putting the run to the Putinist hordes (remember – it was a full-scale invasion) ever since, thanks largely to Canada and our allies providing hundreds of billions in money and materiel, or in Canada’s case, billions in promises. Canada has been more than a little light in the materiel department since long before the full-scale invasion, but we do what we can to show our allies that we’re a reliable partner in the global struggle between Democracy(good guys) and Authoritarianism(bad guys). To that end, Fluffy and Zelly signed a ten year mutual defence agreement at the weekend. The Canadian side promised aid worth 3 billions in the first year, but did not specify if that was in Canadian dollars or Ukrainian hryvnia. No amounts were committed beyond the first year, just in case. And due to the prudent nature of the Canadian side, our assistance comes as a loan, not a donation. Ukraine should have no trouble repaying once Putin is defeated. Once again Canada proves it has what it takes; a leader who will make empty promises for as long as it takes, and isn’t afraid to call Putin names!