Bored Times a Gazillion

I suspect this might turn into several posts as I am pretty sure most of you aren’t up for a manifesto on the subject of what will go down in history as the record breaker of all boring weekends.

If there was a way to quantify boredom, my weekend would be in the next volume of the Guinness Book of World Records.

OK, so all of you are out there saying “If you are so bored, why didn’t you just do something?” 

“Do you people not get the very nature of boredom…nothing sounds fun or appealing when you are mind-numbingly bored!”  Even the youngest of children know this when they whine,  “I’m BORED.”
Nothing…I repeat…NOTHING..is going to sound fun.

So…let’s start with REASONS for my extreme boredom.

A.  Husband is now on his 11th week out of town.  I have made enough trips to Nebraska that I see no advantage of being bored there as compared to here…well short of seeing my sweet husband..but he is there working, after all….and my cell phone and computer hardly work there…so there is that.

B.  It is so witheringly hot…… it has all but sapped the life’s blood out of me.  Now…before all of you people that live in places that are routinely hot start judgeing me for being a whiner…let’s just clarify a few points. 

•   Most of you that live in places that are routinely over 100 degrees in the summer are (more)  prepared for it.  You have zoned air conditioners.  You have grass that is equipped to survive the heat. You get a break in the winter by enjoying beautifully  mild, “never-need-a-parka-and-snow-boots-lucky-us-we-aren’t-freezing-our-asses-off” kind of winters.  I, on the other hand,  live in Kansas and we are in the middle of a drought.  None of those things I just mentioned above apply to us. It has been over a hundred for a week or so but seems much longer…let’s not split hairs here…. with humidity over 70% lets just call it infinitesimally long.  AND there is no end in sight!

• I will not get a break in the winter.  I will be shoveling 20-40 inches of snow and freezing my ass off so, I really don’t appreciate Mother Nature double dipping her extreme weather patterns on the middle part of the U.S. BUT…I will not be sending another letter to Mother Nature relaying my concerns, as the previous three caused me a great deal of angst and expense.  For you, my  more recent readers, this is a precautionary warning.  Mother Nature doesn’t take kindly to complaint letters.  (for a review you can click back to read  my two latest letters Were You Not Listening and Now That’s Just Playing Dirty)

C.   If the heat wasn’t enough to keep me home, the crowds of people and traffic that have resulted from the free Blake Shelton concert on the mall parking lot and the casting call for America’s Biggest Loser being in town has my desire to fight the the crowds are currently running at  about 0%.

Now in my attempt to keep busy on a …did I mention the 105 degree temperature?…hot day without my husband to hang around with and my kids at the lake…here are just a couple of the things I have done.

• Cleaned an already clean house
• Load some new fonts onto my computer, that you will never get to see as Blogger let’s me choose from about 7 or something.
• Read..Currently reading Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson
• Watch TV ….one noteable show that I will talk about in a different post
• Work on my garden in an effort to resuscitate it. It’s currently in ICU and not expected to live.

Oh and there is this…As I was killing an inordinate amount of time just cruising down the Information Highway (old school for Internet, kiddies)…I came upon a new blog that is going to have a very negative influence on me…at least for wasting time.  An older post on  A Beer for the Shower was talking about cell phone music.  No…not downloading music to a cell phone but PLAYING music on a cell phone.

 Which brings me spending some time perfecting Happy Birthday on my IPhone keyboard. With most my family members having August birthdays this needs to be spot-on.

For those of you that aren’t already proficient at playing music on your cell  phone keyboards, let me point out to you “non-smart phone users”…you do understand I am saying your phone is non-smart…I am sure you are a genius…,  is far superior for playing keyboard music on. This can be your reason for not getting with the current technology aka a smart phone.

In all fairness, maybe Android phones do it better.  As I have an IPhone, I can  tell you that a couple of notes could be better. The number 9 I think should be a sharp, but I could be wrong. Anyway,  as I was saying, it is really hard to make the music sound right on an Iphone. 

I have every confidence in your musical cell phone ability, no matter what your intrument (cell phone) is. Are we ready ???? Play…

112163 
112196
11# 9632
## 9696

Did that sound like Happy Birthday??? If it didn’t…you didn’t do it right.

Try..Frere Jacques…you just can’t fail on this one…

1231 1231
369 369
9# 9631
9# 9631
191 191

Really, if that doesn’t work for you…just load the app Tiny Piano…It’s free.

OR if you have an old school phone try this…I know all of you are going to want to dig out a Nokia phone.

I will stop for now, and go water my “soon to be deceased” plants.  I have some other exciting activities to share with you later.

Read more at The Art of Being Conflicted