7 Weird Tips for How to Choose a Nursing Home for Your Aging Parents

When Social Security was introduced, in 1935, the average life expectancy was only 61 years old! These days, thanks to innovations in medicine and technology, most folks live a lot longer. Unfortunately, aging seniors can sometimes still require a lot of help, and that’s where a nursing home comes in.

It can be difficult to tell your parents that it’s time for them to leave their family home and live in a facility dedicated to the care of seniors. However, it is often for the best. Read on to learn how to choose a nursing home where your parents can live out their days in comfort.

7 Weird Tips for How to Choose a Nursing Home

A move is a stressful undertaking for anyone, at any age. Moving to a nursing home or senior care facility is even more fraught. That means you should do a lot of research, ask a lot of questions, and make this decision carefully before moving your aging parents.

1. Determine How Dependent Your Parent Is

For years, you were dependent on your parents and other adults to teach you valuable lessons, keep you safe, and help you master skills. Now, the tables have turned. As difficult as it may be to admit that your folks can’t manage on their own, it’s vital to figure out just what they can and cannot do independently.

This will determine whether Mom should live in a nursing home, an assisted living facility, or an independent living facility. Let’s look at each in turn.

• Independent Senior Living: These facilities are simply communities intended for people over a certain age (usually 55). Here, your parents will tend to most of their own needs, with the exception of maintenance, lawn care, etc.
• Assisted Living: In an assisted living facility, the residents are seniors who need a little extra help — with things like cleaning, medication management, and transportation. Most assisted living centers also have a dietician on staff and provide one or two meals each day to the residents.
• Skilled Nursing Facility: Often called nursing homes, these establishments are for seniors who are sick, disabled, or otherwise unable to take care of their own basic needs. All meals are provided, the residents’ physical health is monitored, and they receive help with dressing, bathing, and toileting.

Click for more information on the differences between these facilities, as well as on other options seniors have for socializing and daily living.

2. Use Your Nose

Many nursing home residents are incontinent and/or fecally incontinent. Their toileting needs should be attended to frequently. The same goes for bathing; since it’s easy for an elderly or infirm person to slip and fall in the tub or shower, aides should be on hand to assist with this task. Some facilities offer not only bathing assistance, but an on-premises beauty salon.

If the nursing home smells like urine, feces, or body odor, that’s a sign you should move on and look at some other options.

3. …and Your Ears

When you tour a nursing home, close your eyes for a moment. What do you hear? Laughter is a good sign, as are music and lively conversation. When staff members address the residents, you should hear them do so respectfully, using their names. If the nurses and aides are condescending, gruff, or rude, this is another red flag.

4. …and Even Your Taste Buds

Any senior care facility worth its salt (so to speak) will allow guests to sample a meal so that they can get a sense of what the food is like. While it’s probably unrealistic to expect five-star cuisine, the meals should be wholesome, balanced, and nutritious. Fruits and vegetables should be plentiful.

If your parent has nutritional requirements or restrictions, such as a low-sodium diet, Kosher meals, or vegetarian food, check to make certain the facility can accommodate these needs.

5. Chat with a Current Resident

If possible, ask to speak to someone who already lives at the facility you’re touring. After all, they have knowledge that no one else will. It’s also a good idea to ask if you can talk to a family member of a resident. That conversation, too, can give you a sense of the quality of care.

6. How About the Social Life?

Independent and assisted living facilities will likely offer more social opportunities, especially day trips and outings. That’s simply because they have a higher proportion of residents who can enjoy such activities. Yet nursing homes should also offer a schedule of events and gatherings.

Craft lessons, concerts, regular game nights featuring bingo or card games, holiday celebrations, book clubs, and even Wii bowling or other physical fitness activities are among the offerings at many homes. If the only entertainment available is a blaring television in the day room, be warned.

7. Trust Your Sixth Sense

We’ve talked a lot about using your five senses to assess the quality of a senior nursing home or living facility. Equally important is your sixth sense, intuition, or gut feeling.

If, after touring the establishment, you don’t have a good feeling, it’s perfectly OK to trust your gut. Remember that the staff will be aware of your parent’s status as a prospective resident, and therefore might be on their best behavior.

Elder abuse is, unfortunately, more common than you might think. And it can be incredibly difficult to detect, especially for a visitor. So listening to your sixth sense is actually advisable.

Similarly, don’t make any decisions before touring all the facilities you’re interested in. That way you can compare, contrast, and choose the best possible place for Mom or Dad to go.

Wrapping Up

How to choose a nursing home that will provide quality care for your parent(s) can be a difficult process. And since they are the one who stands the most to gain (or lose), involve them in the decision to the fullest possible extent. Just because you fall in love with a facility doesn’t mean your aging parent will be happy there.

Keep our seven weird tips in mind, put yourself in your parent’s shoes, and do your homework in order to choose the best possible facility.

Have you been caring for an elderly relative? Do you have a loved one who lives in a nursing home? We’d love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to leave a comment below!

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