The Most Ridiculous Ways People Tried to Pass a Drug Test

Let’s face it: people love getting high.

Whether it’s through illegal drugs or weird new methods, it’s hard to deter people from the allure of euphoria.

With more U.S. workers testing positive for marijuana, cocaine, and even meth, employers are cracking down on drug use. That doesn’t mean employees are sobering up. They’re looking for new ways to pass drug tests instead.

When it comes to trying to pass a drug test, people get really creative. Here are some of the most ridiculous ways people tried to pass a drug test.

Read on to see some of the most hilarious, head-scratching attempts to pass a drug test. Our advice to you: do not try these yourself!

Microwave Magic

The internet is full of urban legends on how to pass a urine drug test. Let’s just say the results are mixed.

For every logical piece of advice, there are 10 more crazy theories on weird ways to pass a drug test. Unfortunately, one young woman chose to follow the latter.

Police hit a 26-year-old woman with property damage charges after her attempt to pass a drug test. The Colorado woman found herself in a precarious situation after trying to heat her urine in a 7/11 microwave.

Apparently, the woman bought into the belief that heating urine helps you pass a drug test. Unfortunately for her, the bottled urine exploded in the microwave.

She broke the cardinal rule of never leaving a trail to your crimes. Police found the woman taking a drug test at a nearby clinic and charged her for the microwave damages. Let’s just hope no poor customer tried to heat up their Hot Pockets in the pee-filled microwave.

A New Definition of Clean

There’s no shortage of ridiculous ways people tried to pass a drug test.

Many drug users are under the impression that you can ingest other products to hide drugs in your urine. That’s what happened when one poor teenager found himself on a surprise visit to the ER.

Alabama teenagers bought into the myth that Clorox could mask drugs in their urine. In 2010, a local sheriff noted an uptick in teenage hospitalizations due to drinking bleach.

Bleach may make your house clean, but it wreaks havoc on your body. It can burn through the stomach lining and even lead to death.

The sheriff notes that teenagers eventually recovered to full health. But it’s likely their pride was never the same.

Whizz Kid

Athletes are always looking to get an edge.

Sports leagues are cracking down on illegal drug use. From steroids to cocaine, plenty of athletes’ careers have gone down in flames thanks to failed drug tests.

As a result, athletes are getting extra creative when it comes to passing their drug tests. They’ve invested in self-drug tests like rapid detect to help avoid punishment by their league. Getting caught with drug test products can be just as detrimental as a failed drug test.

Minnesota Viking Onterrio Smith learned that the hard way. In 2005, police caught the running back during a routine bag check at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.

Police found vials of urine to go with “The Original Whizzinator”, which is a synthetic urine kit. The bag also contained a bladder for urine storage.

The NFL suspended Smith for the entire 2005 season as punishment. It’s clear that this professional athlete is no wiz kid.

Fake Junk

Do you know how to pass a urine drug test? The only real answer is with clean urine. Still, that hasn’t stopped a number of people from trying to game the system.

There are actually fake genital products on the market. How does it work?

Men (and women) can purchase the fake genitals and fill it with synthetic urine. Many of these products also have heating features to give the urine a realistic touch. During the drug test, the drug user will whip out the fake genitalia and it will appear as if they are actually peeing.

The sheer imagery of carrying around fake genitalia is enough to inspire laughs. Of course, this method is not without its risks.

Getting caught with the product is equally as bad as a failed drug test. Labs are also adept at testing for fake urine. Maybe think twice before gearing up with fake junk.

Bad Urine Swap

Swapping out urine is a classic strategy to pass a drug test. But how well do you really know your friends?

An Ohio woman found out the hard way that her friend wasn’t exactly trustworthy. The 24-year-old took a court-ordered drug test after pleading guilty to tampering with evidence.

The woman got urine from a “friend” as a means to pass the court sanctioned drug test. Unfortunately for her, the friend’s urine came back positive for illegal drugs.

This proved to be a costly mistake. A judge sentenced the woman to 18 months in prison for failing. True friends really are hard to find.

Mother Russia

Let’s face it: Russian Olympians are having a rough go.

The Russian Olympic team faced major sanctions after widespread doping allegations proved true. The doping was so widespread that Russia was barred from competing in the 2018 PyeongChang Olympics. The Olympics still allowed Russian athletes to participate under the title “Olympic Athletes from Russia.”

One female Russian bobsledder was so adamant about anti-doping that she donned a special t-shirt. A picture of her wearing an “I don’t do doping” t-shirt went viral shortly after the start of the Olympics.

Sadly, the athlete tested positive for a banned substance during the same Olympics. It appears you can’t just claim that you’re drug-free to pass a drug test. At least she’ll go down in history as having one of the most memorable failed drug tests.

More Ridiculous Ways People Tried to Pass a Drug Test

It’s no secret that there are plenty of ridiculous ways people tried to pass a drug test.

Are you looking for more laughs? We can help. Check out our weird news for more funny drug fails and more!

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