Abortion Also Hurts The Living

In a previous post,  I  have related my opinion on abortion, probability of defunding and the choice I made when faced with an untimely pregnancy. I had not remembered and thus realized that abortion had affected me earlier.  I had forgotten that my mother had an abortion.

I must have been in middle school when one day my mother came home and laid down on the bed.  I figured she had one her migraines.  She loved chocolate but chocolate did not love her so, once in a while, she got migraines.  Later, she got up and we all went about the evening ritual of preparing dinner.

A couple of days later, while I sat and watched her prepare dinner, she said something and I didn’t exactly catch what it was so I asked her to repeat it.  I honestly cannot remember everything she said – my mind draws a blank.  I can only remember her saying something having “taken out” my baby brother “me lo saque”  Then, and my mind recoils in horror, she turned to me and asked me if I would have liked to have to a baby brother.  I remembered just looking at her and not knowing what to say.  I mean, it was done, why ask me now?  She then shrugged her shoulders and continued preparing dinner.

I have been terrified of the woman for years but had not been able to make the connection until now.  I don’t know if my mother lost her mind a little, when she had the abortion or if the guilt was such that she had to talk to someone and I was the only one around but that was a horrifying moment.  The shock must have been such that I had never stopped to study the moment until now.

Yesterday, as I read the latest on the Planned Parenthood gruesome business, it hit me.  I cried the tears that I had not been able to cry, about 40 years ago.  I mourned my baby brother.  I had never allowed myself to think about what might have been.  The little baby that I could have held, helped on his first steps, laughed with, protected and guided.  I will never have the joy of meeting his children and hearing them call me “Tia” (aunt).

I remember that for years, I hated God.  I can’t say that I was an atheist but I remember saying that God was a crutch for weak people.  I was strong and no one was going to get the best of me so I didn’t need God.  I was respectful.  I never attacked people of faith; just stayed away from them and preferred to avoid the subject of God.

One act – the abortion of my sibling – destroyed the promise of a life, the relationship that I had with my mother and with my faith.  It also destroyed my mother – she became harder more materialistic.  I left Panama and the family behind.  Life took me places and through many experiences. I met people who called me their friends but when I needed them they turned their back on me.

Only one female doctor, a Republican helped me through the pregnancy, and my faith has carried me through.  I was alone and scared and I remember saying: “God, I said that only weak people need you and I need you now.  I need help.”  I have walked with God since.

So, for all the people who say that Planned Parenthood does a good service and that we “hate women” and “it’s about the services” or “We haven’t experienced”   I say – I know you.  I have “experience”  and, people like you turned your backs on me, when I needed help bringing life into this world.  We have good reasons to oppose Planned Parenthood.

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